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Exiles of the New York Times
February 07, 2012, 08:41:51 PM *
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Author Topic: Creative Writing  (Read 79082 times)
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Beppo
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« Reply #2655 on: March 18, 2010, 06:15:37 PM »

For a few seconds Soames thought he recognised the voice of Sheriff Okolukulakia.

But it would have been dangerous to act upon that hunch.

Feeling a panic beginning, he uttered the only non sequitor he knew...






 
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barton
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« Reply #2656 on: March 19, 2010, 10:47:56 AM »

"Did you ever pick your toes in Poughkeepsie?"

Everyone looked at him, pop-eyed. 

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whiskeypriest
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« Reply #2657 on: March 19, 2010, 10:54:25 AM »

"Did you ever pick your toes in Poughkeepsie?"

Everyone looked at him, pop-eyed. 


Including the sailor man with bulging forearms which broke the silence with no but Ive uttered a synecdoche in Schenectady.
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"Newt [Gingrich] is like a flaming bag of poop you can vote for."

Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA
knoxharrington
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« Reply #2658 on: March 19, 2010, 11:39:52 AM »

"Why, he's nothing but a comma thief!" cried T.S. as he pointed in horror at the word balloon over the sailor's head, bereft of all but one lonely period.

"Let's not get all worked up," said Ben Dover.  "It's not apostrophic."

Soames, grateful to have attention diverted from himself towards the uncomma'd and unquoted sailor man, edged towards the door.  At the moment, the WalMart PA system crackled and an ominous voice said,  "All ungrammatical people must now leave the store."

"That ain't not one bit funny!" cried Dover.

"That is just wrong," said the Sheriff with the ukelele he required in order to pronounce his own name.

 
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nytempsperdu
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« Reply #2659 on: March 19, 2010, 11:01:38 PM »

After a brief tuning he launched into "You can keep the synecdoche in Schenectady, it can't compare with Metonymy in Pottawatomie" (or "Potawatomi" if one prefers cutting the cheese to shucking--with or without jiving--the corn).

"Hark!, quoth the tongue of the people as the eyes and ears of the crown lurked just beyond the protection of his sword and shield, ready to defend to the death his jewels.
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barton
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« Reply #2660 on: March 20, 2010, 01:40:06 PM »

Suddenly, a shot rang out.
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whiskeypriest
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« Reply #2661 on: March 20, 2010, 01:50:20 PM »

What was that Dover asked perplexed a shot you idiot do you not read the between quote exposition Soames said as he glanced over at Thomas Stearns who was examining the slowly spreading red flower in the middle of his white shirt with amazement I think we got us a man down Soames hissed.
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"Newt [Gingrich] is like a flaming bag of poop you can vote for."

Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA
barton
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« Reply #2662 on: March 20, 2010, 02:08:15 PM »

Cormac McCarthy rubbed his gnarled hands together and cackled with glee

my plan is unfolding the coup is happening soon the MLA Stylebook will turn to mold and rot in dark basements and nothing will stop....
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carol polk
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« Reply #2663 on: March 20, 2010, 09:07:07 PM »

me unless someone remembers, as Anu Garg does, that" He that uses many words for explaining any subject, doth, like the cuttlefish, hide himself for the most part in his own ink." -John Ray, naturalist (1627-1705).  Should that happen, Cormac will take his gnarly hands and even gnarlier prose off to Tucson, while Soames looks after him with a relieved ...

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Beppo
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« Reply #2664 on: March 23, 2010, 09:51:59 AM »

mutt's nuts...
« Last Edit: March 24, 2010, 06:39:39 PM by Beppo » Logged
barton
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« Reply #2665 on: April 05, 2010, 01:17:47 PM »

...and the sound of balloon popping startled Frank Gehry so much that his drafting pencil wandered way off course.  Neither he nor the contractor noticed this little meandering, and so it was that the south load-bearing wall of the new Museum of NonSequiturs in Schenectady, NY began to...
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Beppo
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« Reply #2666 on: April 09, 2010, 07:24:39 AM »

begin, cease and then begin again. This design flaw didn't escape Schenectady burglar Fin Finito. On the day of the unveiling of the gallery's most expensive non sequitur Finito intended removing it later that evening under darkness and shipping it out to a collector from Schleswig-Holstein. Finito, a fan of the Beatles and al dente type cheetos, wasn't a very accomplished burglar, and had it not been for
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barton
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« Reply #2667 on: April 09, 2010, 01:06:50 PM »

his extreme slowness, he would never have gotten past the motion detectors without tripping an alarm.  Say what you will about the al dente snack diet, it did bestow upon its adherents a certain languidness of gait and gesture that proved handy in some situations.  Finito crept up on the prized Non Sequitur, where it gleamed improbably in its bulletproof plexiglas housing, and took a long moment to marvel at its... 
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whiskeypriest
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« Reply #2668 on: April 09, 2010, 01:15:28 PM »

deep, verdant redness, as it glowed like a pine bough through its protective curtain of soft, opaque chain mail.
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"Newt [Gingrich] is like a flaming bag of poop you can vote for."

Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA
knoxharrington
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« Reply #2669 on: April 10, 2010, 11:29:27 AM »

Fin, deeply moved by its sparkling facets of oxymoron and glittering points of utter non-relevance, had to take a moment of brush his teeth and update his grocery list while considering the long-range effects of the Irish potato famine on basmati prices in Sri Lanka.  He realized penetrating the soft gauzy coating of chain mail would take longer than he had expected, and began to weep for the children of Muriel and Frank Pelletier who had suffered so much in the....
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