Escape from Elba
Exiles of the New York Times
June 23, 2018, 04:00:49 AM *
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Author Topic: Creative Writing  (Read 27213 times)
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teddy174c
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« Reply #750 on: June 04, 2007, 10:15:52 PM »

.. "or the Elephanta Caves" said Fadge, eying Gordon and Harold mischievously ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephanta_Caves
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barton
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« Reply #751 on: June 05, 2007, 11:41:50 AM »

Meanwhile, back in the natatorium, the pool filters had become clogged with gallons of rancid elephant semen, and the pump was beginning to emit an ominous sound, a terrible banshee-wail that made Harold and Gordon look at each other in wild surmise.

"I think someone is approaching Full Member-hood," said Gordon, "and it's going to ruin our afternoon swim!"

"You don't mean?"

"Yes," said Gordon, "the slim and handsome Nebraska poet, Bart Nilson!"

"My God," cried Harold.  "We must lock up the women and then....
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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
whiskeypriest
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« Reply #752 on: June 05, 2007, 11:45:51 AM »

run for it!  It'll be every man for himself and the devil take the hind most!"

Meanwhile, Clothilde....
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What does it matter?  All is grace.
liquidsilver
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« Reply #753 on: June 05, 2007, 11:48:18 AM »

pondered the meaning of life while sitting on the crapper....
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"I hate listening to peoples dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody's having sex, I just don't care."
barton
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« Reply #754 on: June 05, 2007, 12:00:48 PM »

and emptying half a can of Glade into the room to fend off the powerful pheromones of Bart Nilson which were spreading through the building's ventilation system and threatening her calm contemplations with wild erotic longings.  Sometimes, it was better to breathe carcinogens than to defile one's mind with....
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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
whiskeypriest
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« Reply #755 on: June 05, 2007, 12:04:12 PM »

Bart Nilson....
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liquidsilver
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« Reply #756 on: June 05, 2007, 12:08:18 PM »

shaving his scrotum while
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"I hate listening to peoples dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody's having sex, I just don't care."
whiskeypriest
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« Reply #757 on: June 05, 2007, 12:10:16 PM »

possessing a full member...
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kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #758 on: June 05, 2007, 12:52:30 PM »

"Too damned possessive, that's why I left Bart", Clothilde demured as her esthetician prepared the wax...
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pugetopolis
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« Reply #759 on: June 05, 2007, 01:06:53 PM »

Meanwhile Gordon and Harold were both still rather nervous and fidgety after watching The X-Files last night—that tacky episode “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space” about Jesse Ventura as the Man in Black, Jimmy Carter as Dr. Fingers the Hypnotist and Bart Nilsen as the autopsied alien come back to life to warn Mulder and Skully that the planet Elbe was on a collision course with the swanky downtown Poughkeepsie “No Tell Motel” where Whiskeypriest was being held as a captive sex-slave spread-eagled in bed by Rachel Ray and a film crew doing the final episode of The X–Files entitled...   
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kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #760 on: June 05, 2007, 01:10:10 PM »

Dr. Fadge ( Fah-dah-jhay) Re-Members?
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whiskeypriest
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« Reply #761 on: June 05, 2007, 01:12:47 PM »

As a matter of linguistics, Gordon mused, can one really be "held captive" as a "slave" if one enters into the captivity and servitude willingly?
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pugetopolis
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« Reply #762 on: June 05, 2007, 01:40:24 PM »

Meanwhile Gordon and Harold were both still rather nervous and fidgety after watching The X-Files last night—that tacky episode “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space” about Jesse Ventura as the Man in Black, Jimmy Carter as Dr. Fingers the Hypnotist and Bart Nilsen as the autopsied alien come back to life to warn Mulder and Skully that the planet Elbe was on a collision course with the swanky downtown Poughkeepsie “No Tell Motel” where Whiskeypriest was being held as a captive sex-slave spread-eagled in bed by Rachel Ray and a film crew doing the final episode of The X–Files entitled...   

X-Files Episode #666—“Klatu Nevada Naked-Toe”

X-Files Episode #666—“I Married a Lawyer from Outer Space”

X-Files Episode #666—“Kenneth Starr v. Bong Hits 4 Jesus”

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—Vincent Canby, The New York Times
barton
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« Reply #763 on: June 05, 2007, 01:49:57 PM »



At this unseemly ejaculation, shuffling footsteps were heard in the hallway, and a moment later, Charles Nilson Reilly walked in and said
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kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #764 on: June 05, 2007, 02:07:16 PM »

"Ejaculation"?  "Did I miss something"?
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