Escape from Elba
Exiles of the New York Times
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Author Topic: Creative Writing  (Read 27092 times)
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barton
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« Reply #960 on: June 11, 2007, 01:26:33 PM »

sing, "Happy Bidets Are Here Again," while the nearest iguana rushed forward and
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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
whiskeypriest
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« Reply #961 on: June 11, 2007, 01:26:59 PM »

took a big lick at her exposed quim and
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pugetopolis
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« Reply #962 on: June 11, 2007, 01:34:34 PM »

Gordon would not accept this state of affairs.  "Then life is a preposterous horror. No man can live faced with Death, knowing everything's nothingness."
 

“So many dead writers,” Harold shrugged.

“I know what you mean, sweetheart,” said Gordon. “Greene, Nabokov, Percy, Plath, Hughes, Balzac, James…they’re all dead. Deader than doornails.”

“Well, a couple of living ones showed up,” Harold said.

“Camille Paglia showed up at the end of Break, Burn, Blow dontchaknow—or was it Break, Burn, Blowjob?”

“Yes, and Gunter Grass said hello.”

“And Pynchon.”

“They’re all doing podcasts now.”

“Podcasts? Why?”

“Obviously because Sussman and Tannenbaum ask better questions than us mere mediocre run-of-the-mill readers?”

“Well, you have to admit that the readers group wasn’t exactly the epitome of intelligentsia, my dear.”

Intelligentsia—smelligentsia. Oh, who cares about that? That forum is deader than most of the writers over there anyway.”

Harold yawned. Gordon yawned. Albuquerque yawned...

Even Rachel Ray yawned...

 


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Beppo
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« Reply #963 on: June 11, 2007, 01:50:44 PM »

took a big lick at her exposed quim and

to this day remains a stuffed example in the Royal boudoir of what not to do when the Lady is washing in the Royal bidet. But that's iguana for you. One minute they're
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Eva
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« Reply #964 on: June 11, 2007, 01:54:31 PM »

minding their own quims and the next thing you know
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Beppo
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« Reply #965 on: June 11, 2007, 01:59:26 PM »

they're cunning linguists intent on boasting to iguana kind
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Eva
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« Reply #966 on: June 11, 2007, 02:05:23 PM »

that their book tour promoting
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pugetopolis
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« Reply #967 on: June 11, 2007, 02:12:41 PM »

took a big lick at her exposed quim and

"Pssssst!!! I hear Eva has a nice quim...."

"Stop it Harold!!!! You know I can't stand quim-quackery!!!!!!!"
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Beppo
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« Reply #968 on: June 11, 2007, 02:16:02 PM »

that their book tour promoting

"The Quim Monologue" was doing
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kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #969 on: June 11, 2007, 02:17:33 PM »

better than even the harshest critics could have
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whiskeypriest
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« Reply #970 on: June 11, 2007, 02:25:10 PM »

feared or its strongest advocates could have
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pugetopolis
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« Reply #971 on: June 11, 2007, 02:27:53 PM »

Stop! in the name of love!!!!
Before you break my heart!!!!

Baby, baby
I'm aware of where you go
Each time you leave my door
I watch you walk down the street
Knowing your other love you'll meet
But this time before you run to her
Leaving me alone and hurt
(think it over) after Ive been good to you ?
(think it over) after Ive been sweet to you ?"

-- The Supremes

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kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #972 on: June 11, 2007, 02:30:19 PM »

(The chorus was supposed to come in at the next stanza...)


Where were those advocates, possibly
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pugetopolis
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« Reply #973 on: June 11, 2007, 02:32:07 PM »

Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Think it over
Think it over

Ive known of your
Your secluded nights
Ive even seen her
Maybe once or twice
But is her sweet expression
Worth more than my love and affection ?
But this time before you leave my arms
And rush of to her charms
(think it over) havent I been good to you ?
(think it over) havent I been sweet to you ?

Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Stop! in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Think it over
Think it over
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—Vincent Canby, The New York Times
Beppo
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« Reply #974 on: June 11, 2007, 02:33:12 PM »

feared or its strongest advocates could have

hoped for.  There were rumours that Chapter four, "My Quim, The Iguana", was
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