Escape from Elba
Exiles of the New York Times
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Author Topic: Creative Writing  (Read 27263 times)
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learn.
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« Reply #1440 on: June 28, 2007, 08:23:35 PM »

Dude, I welcome participation.
Odom's the first pick
I'm like this forum's Rodman
Except he's got a bigger dick.

Just a guess,  but the guy's 6'8.
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Children are sponges.
Others actions are absorbed.
Is the water clean?
Lhoffman
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« Reply #1441 on: June 28, 2007, 08:34:42 PM »

I'm a bit surprised that you are posting all this negativity using the LEARN logo.  You seem to take a great deal of pride (well earned I might add) in your development of LEARN, why associate it with this?  Granted, you didn't receive a very warm welcome, but it seems to me that if you want to write you should get on with it and let the other folks here get on with whatever it is they want to do.  Who knows?  They might find they like what you have to say. 

I'm still not clear why there isn't room for both.
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pugetopolis
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« Reply #1442 on: June 28, 2007, 08:51:43 PM »

the merkin designer was Chlotilde Boudreaux's uncle, Nolan "LeStink" Hebert-Bordelon, a recluse from New Iberia with a frightening aspect and a ...

…nephew by the name of Claude “LeStink” Herbert-Bordelon who just happened to be my first dormitory “crush” there in Boudreaux Hall on campus down that lane of leaning old magnolias drooping next to the Huey P. Long Fieldhouse where I lollygagged on the pool balcony with my mint julep along with the decaying potted ferns and cracked red-tile roof admiring through the rotting wrought-iron filigree the lovely sleek physique of young Claude down there swimming nude in the pool during those long humid midnights in the garden of good and evil always slowly creeping like mold on cheese deeper and deeper into my poor Lake Pontchartrain pea-brain consciousness full of decadent “Baby Doll” nostalgia for my cute dark-haired French “LeStinker” boyfriend knowing back then that he’d never amount to much anything other than a minor heartache in some Grand Isle motel room down there in the middle of that Katrina hurricane with the stormy flood pulling him back out into the gulf where sharks and pelicans gorged themselves on him leaving nothing but his once-manly merkin floating there in the fetid pools of what once was…
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jbottle
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« Reply #1443 on: June 28, 2007, 08:58:46 PM »

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Otto West: Look, you obviously don't know anything about intelligence work, lady. It's an X-K-Red-27 technique.
Wendy: My father was in the Secret Service, Mr. Manfredjinsinjin, and I know perfectly well that you don't keep the general public informed when you are "debriefing KGB defectors in a safe house."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Otto: Well, would you like to know what you'd be without us, the good ol' U.S. of A. to protect you? I'll tell you. The smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire, that's what. So don't call me stupid, lady. Just thank me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wanda: To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I've known sheep who could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs, but you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?
Otto: Apes don't read philosophy.
Wanda: Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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learn.
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« Reply #1444 on: June 28, 2007, 09:02:47 PM »

I'm a bit surprised that you are posting all this negativity using the LEARN logo.

LHoffman, I understand what you say. I've thought of it myself. I will not go back and delete. That would take the authenticity (spellcheck) out of the humanness behind LEARN, but I will give it extra thought in the future.

When two White people argue, it's called an argument. If two Black people argue, it's called an argument. When  Black and White people argue with eachother, it's called racism.  

One of the things that I find interesting during this forum handicapped match is this, I don't know the race/culture of anyone I'm fighting with. So while we all might be screwed up individuals, its based on being screwed up, not on racism. If everyone in the world was the same exact skin color, there's still be fighting, they'rd still be hatred, we just wouldn't and couldn't blame it on racism.

My opinion, racism is like a negative cloud hovering over society. If people want to do something about it, they should spread an opposite to it. LEARN should be that opposite. It doesn't HAVE to be, nothing HAS to be, but it should be.

If the world is how I'd like to believe, people could hate me, but they should have it in them to love LEARN.

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learn.
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« Reply #1445 on: June 28, 2007, 09:10:20 PM »

and let the other folks here get on with whatever it is they want to do.

Lhoffman, you know from the past I have and continue to have respect for you. On this I disagree. Simply, I haven't stopped or requested for anyone to stop posting. I never would. I've just answered back posters. Mostly the ones who cursed at me.

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Children are sponges.
Others actions are absorbed.
Is the water clean?
pugetopolis
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« Reply #1446 on: June 28, 2007, 09:42:01 PM »

pugetopolis - 9:20 PM ET June 28, 2007 (#384 of 384)
"Can there be poetry after Auschwitz?"--Theodor Adorno

Lifeline

—for Sam Tanenhaus

“Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store. Well I'm happy to be back. But I have to go to the bagel store.”

http://forums.nytimes.com/top/opinion/readersopinions/forums/books/voteforthereadinggroupbook/index.html?offset=696&fid=.fac5bc6/696
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jbottle
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« Reply #1447 on: June 28, 2007, 09:54:14 PM »

I'd be happy to take a dramamine.
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Lhoffman
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« Reply #1448 on: June 28, 2007, 10:32:51 PM »

"Who is this Lifeline I keep hearing so much about?" Carbuncle wondered. 

Sadly, Carbuncle had been in a bit of a hurry to rid himself of  Federov and Artukov...they'd been aware of Lifeline from as far back as the Cold War.  Lifeline was one of the cleverest operatives they'd ever encountered.  Rumor had it he used the defunct book-chat forum of a major US newspaper to send daily coded messages to his handlers.  Problem was, no one knew who those handlers were.  He was currently placed in Jerusalem.  The first thing he did when he got there was to move in with a hapless Israeli family.  He ripped the screens off their windows and left the remains of his half-eaten meals around the place.  In no time at all, he had managed to infest the house with rats and mice.  He also stayed up late into the night, leaving the house at odd hours on his bicycle.  When he got back, he dropped right into bed....no bath and definitely no change of clothes.  The Israelis didn't know what to make of him...some thought he was nuts; some thought he stank.  Either way, things worked out well for Lifeline;  the Israelis avoided him like the plague.  This left him quite free to...

 
« Last Edit: June 29, 2007, 01:11:45 AM by Lhoffman » Logged
desdemona222b
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« Reply #1449 on: June 29, 2007, 08:39:20 AM »

an even more frightening aspic, which he made from boiling nutria in a vat of paint thinner and brandy. 

Andrzjmnpqwyej had tried a similar aspic once, while on a layover, in Gdenver, a city in the mountains of Poland.  The Gdenver Omelet, however, was far better.

Meanwhile, back in the prison natatorium, the synchronized swimming teams were preparing for the big yearly competition.  The Gdancers team, consisting of Gordon, Bruiser, Puglover, and three other inmates, was struggling this year because Pug just couldn't concentrate due to the distractions of the investigation into the Natatorium Incident.  Bruiser and Gordon were extremely concerned and almost angry because Pug kept unsynchronizing the synchronization.  Maximillian Von Schleswig-Holstein, another member of the team who was serving time for cattle torture, was even more upset.

"Puglover, you are going to RUIN our chances in the big competition this year!" he snarled during one particularly grueling practice session.  "My life will be OVER if we don't win again this year!"

"Well I just feel so misunderstood," retorted Puglover.  "You boys act like you don't even care who almost killed Chlotilde or how that ghastly old man got into the pool - why can't you get your priorities straight?  You should..."
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pugetopolis
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« Reply #1450 on: June 29, 2007, 08:52:17 AM »

"...well, actually I should just hush my bigmouth dontchknow. I talk much too much." (Applause from the audience)
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« Reply #1451 on: June 29, 2007, 09:36:18 AM »

"Scheisse!" bellowed Schleswig-Holstein, as another ceiling tile fell and conked him on the head as he was practicing the Australian Crawl. 

"Chill," said Gordon, "no trained athlete ever let a subdural hematoma hold him back.  Walk it off, man."

Gordon grinned, blew a little more air into his Spongebob flotation ring, and...

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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
whiskeypriest
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« Reply #1452 on: June 29, 2007, 09:44:02 AM »

I'm a bit surprised that you are posting all this negativity using the LEARN logo.  You seem to take a great deal of pride (well earned I might add) in your development of LEARN, why associate it with this?  Granted, you didn't receive a very warm welcome, but it seems to me that if you want to write you should get on with it and let the other folks here get on with whatever it is they want to do.  Who knows?  They might find they like what you have to say. 

I'm still not clear why there isn't room for both.
I would have thought that you would have realized by now that Learn is all about two things: controling others and his own ego.  Why else would he post here when he has no creative writing to share - cutting insults into brief lines is not poetry - and never has?
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desdemona222b
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« Reply #1453 on: June 29, 2007, 09:49:12 AM »

"Scheisse!" bellowed Schleswig-Holstein, as another ceiling tile fell and conked him on the head as he was practicing the Australian Crawl. 

"Chill," said Gordon, "no trained athlete ever let a subdural hematoma hold him back.  Walk it off, man."

Gordon grinned, blew a little more air into his Spongebob flotation ring, and...



deftly retrieved Schleswig-Holstein's monocle as it floated past him.
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desdemona222b
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« Reply #1454 on: June 29, 2007, 09:51:09 AM »

"Quickly, grab that ceiling tile," cried Pug.  "We must immediately begin investigating this Natatorium Incident (Part II)!  I feel quite certain now we have a serial ceiling tile killer in our midst!"
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