Escape from Elba
Exiles of the New York Times
February 09, 2012, 02:11:35 AM *
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Author Topic: Creative Writing  (Read 79474 times)
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barton
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« Reply #2640 on: February 26, 2010, 11:02:27 AM »

[and I thought my writing was weird....]  [lol]
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Beppo
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« Reply #2641 on: February 26, 2010, 04:15:42 PM »

'Duck Chicken!: A Celebration of Game' awards ceremony, where the highlight of the evening was the Lifetime Achievement Award (in honour of Chuck Dickens' wife Janice), delivered via a Shotmaster®, and modelled upon the first ducks who ever remarked upon the ease by which water rolled from their backs, and the first chickens who ever blundered across a busy freeway. Special nets were handed out to the five potential recipients along with shotguns so that, worst case scenario.... 
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whiskeypriest
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« Reply #2642 on: February 26, 2010, 04:35:12 PM »

...there would at least be dinner.
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"Newt [Gingrich] is like a flaming bag of poop you can vote for."

Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA
knoxharrington
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« Reply #2643 on: February 28, 2010, 04:37:24 PM »

Dinner was followed by a screening of the Duck Chickens classics, "Eek, Blouse!"  and "A Sale of Two Titties."  Most guests departed before the midnight showing of "Chartin' Muzzle-Wit." 

   

 
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appaloosabeach
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« Reply #2644 on: February 28, 2010, 08:23:34 PM »

Soames had a girlfriend in Tucson, she had the prettiest boobs, took him weeks to get over losing her.
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nytempsperdu
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« Reply #2645 on: February 28, 2010, 09:49:24 PM »

But once you've won that Golden Globes Award ("so round, so firm, so fully packed...they fit right in my hand..." lyrics & music by John Hartford, bless 'im), it's too hard to go back to Tucson.  Instead GiGi heeded the beckoning bright lights of...
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barton
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« Reply #2646 on: March 01, 2010, 04:27:16 PM »

...the new Wal-Mart, which had just opened in....
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knoxharrington
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« Reply #2647 on: March 05, 2010, 01:28:54 PM »

....Bella Cochina, Arizona.  When a man got a hankering for cheap Chinese junk larded with heavy metals and rash-inducing chemicals, the new store was the place to go.   T.S. Eliot, Ben Dover, and the PTSD-suffering cat had just entered the store in search of a patio table with uneven legs and some kind of toxic mold from the docks of Shanghai stippling its underside -- word on the street was that the mold could get you higher than Ken Kesey and Timothy Leary rolling around in an isolation tank together.  The boys were just looking for a bit of fun and a way to...
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nytempsperdu
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« Reply #2648 on: March 05, 2010, 11:19:08 PM »

induce a weight-loss purge of proportions hitherto unknown to the innocents ('cept maybe for Dover) before the hallucinations began, a common element of the human variety of which (about the cat visions, we know not) involved an extremely elaborate and highly sensational, even mindbending...
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Beppo
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« Reply #2649 on: March 06, 2010, 04:24:53 PM »

study of dots. The ., the .., and the ...: dot-bending was in, exploding the mono-spot was the new roller-blading. Kicking the little shiftshaper's endgame was the new...
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oilcanbody
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« Reply #2650 on: March 10, 2010, 12:36:40 PM »

....version of the Magna Carta that had been discovered wrapped around a slab of fried codfish in a bistro in Choking-on-Scone, Cornwall.   How it had stayed so fresh and tasty all those centuries remains a mystery, but at least science had now proven definitively that....
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barton
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« Reply #2651 on: March 11, 2010, 12:05:32 PM »

...the place name "Runnymede" did in fact refer to the quality of the liquour being served at the signing ceremony.  Carbon dating and chromatography had now proven that stinting on the honey content would make the mead runny and therefore the medieval analog of lite beer.   Meanwhile, back at the WalMart, T.S. Eliot had found a laser pointer in the flashlight aisle and was contemplating...
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carol polk
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« Reply #2652 on: March 17, 2010, 10:49:01 PM »

whether burnt norton with peaches would be acceptable as a buffet item in the shantih shanty he planned to open, assuming there would be sufficient conversation among the women patrons about Michelangelo to make the whole thing worth it. 
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Beppo
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« Reply #2653 on: March 18, 2010, 05:37:57 PM »

Universal sealants
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whiskeypriest
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« Reply #2654 on: March 18, 2010, 05:44:22 PM »

Good lord Dover hes struck again spat Soames that's the non sequitor killer or my name aint Soames.

Then thats not the non sequitor killer came a voice from behind them for your name is not really Soames now is it.
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"Newt [Gingrich] is like a flaming bag of poop you can vote for."

Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA
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