Escape from Elba
Exiles of the New York Times
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Author Topic: Creative Writing  (Read 27277 times)
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pugetopolis
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« Reply #1560 on: July 16, 2007, 02:06:44 AM »



After strangling her common-law husband with a vacuum cleaner hose, Nancy answers the door…

“Gee whiz,” Sluggo said. “I hope it’s not…”
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“Other people's obsessions
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—Vincent Canby, The New York Times
pugetopolis
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« Reply #1561 on: July 16, 2007, 02:33:43 AM »



Desdemona contemplates how Carbuncle got Boswell…
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“Other people's obsessions
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—Vincent Canby, The New York Times
barton
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« Reply #1562 on: July 16, 2007, 11:51:05 AM »

Behind a poster of Winona Ryder, Gordon had begun to dig a tunnel with his...



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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
whiskeypriest
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« Reply #1563 on: July 16, 2007, 12:32:25 PM »

stunningly prehensile member...
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What does it matter?  All is grace.
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« Reply #1564 on: July 16, 2007, 05:46:18 PM »

and about one second later had managed to tunnel his way through giving a whole new meaning to the title "Little Women". But on turning up at the "Poke Your Member Through A Poster Night" he discovered to his acute embarassment The Thursday Sewing Club, led by serial kleptomaniac Nick "Fingers" Steel...



     
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desdemona222b
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« Reply #1565 on: July 16, 2007, 08:40:43 PM »

who could deftly wield five knitting needles at once while singing a happy tune as he simultaneously...
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pugetopolis
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« Reply #1566 on: July 17, 2007, 01:27:27 AM »



Dear Aunt Fritzi,

I think you should know that Nick “Fingers” Steel is not a very nice man. I fear he has the “hots” for Nancy. Please be on the lookout for your lovely niece.

Desdemona
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—Vincent Canby, The New York Times
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« Reply #1567 on: July 17, 2007, 09:11:33 AM »

who could deftly wield five knitting needles at once while singing a happy tune as he simultaneously...

...nicked the knickers off every clothesline from here to Kalamazoo, for you see Steely Nick had a secret passion for
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whiskeypriest
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« Reply #1568 on: July 17, 2007, 10:27:43 AM »

anything connected to the Western Michigan University Broncos, which would, of course, explain his presence in Kalamazoo.
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« Reply #1569 on: July 17, 2007, 10:50:56 AM »

Gordon had managed to dig out enough cement with the use of his prison cafeteria spork to open up a small hole into the building's utility core, but it was only a couple of inches in diameter, which meant that he might still be months away from being able to wriggle through, shinny up a drainage pipe to the roof and escape from there by climbing down a bedsheet rope and strapping himself to the undercarriage of a visiting supply truck.  Plan B, of course, was to wait until the natatorium ceiling, already showing signs of decay, completely collapsed and then run away in the ensuing chaos.  Plan C, the plan of last resort, involved...

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whiskeypriest
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« Reply #1570 on: July 17, 2007, 11:31:04 AM »

a large bucket, several yards of string, and a dream.
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pugetopolis
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« Reply #1571 on: July 17, 2007, 12:16:01 PM »



Desdemona yawned. Life would be so much more pleasant without all the perverts in the natatorium…”

Just then the head pervert appeared—it was none other than…
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“Other people's obsessions
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—Vincent Canby, The New York Times
kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #1572 on: July 17, 2007, 12:55:38 PM »

Peeping Tom aka
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« Reply #1573 on: July 18, 2007, 10:43:41 AM »

The Peeping Tom?!  Where did that moniker come from in the first place i.e. who was the first peeper and why Tom?  Why not Dick, or Harry?  And what is it about...
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« Reply #1574 on: July 18, 2007, 11:23:23 AM »

Michael Vick?  Just how preverse can one professional dog-hater get?  Can he still be flashing that huge, cocky grin now?

Does Boswell have a chance of sitting on that jury?  And if he did, could he be relied on to
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