Escape from Elba
Exiles of the New York Times
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Author Topic: Creative Writing  (Read 27150 times)
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desdemona222b
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« Reply #1950 on: November 14, 2007, 01:17:42 PM »

Indeed, all the prisoners and guards enjoyed the big dance, so much so that talk was going round about making it an annual event.  The one exception was Warden Otto Mockman, who decided the prisoners would pay for their excesses.  At 5:00 AM, just as everyone was falling asleep, exhausted from their strenuous tripping the light fantastic and imbibing of Punksbane, Warden Mockman made an announcement over the P.A. system:

"Attention all prisoners!  Attention all prisoners!  An investigation into recent nefarious activities at the prison is being implemented as we speak.  Expect shake-downs on a regular basis, and a warning to all - any and all evidence of mastication will be severely punished."
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barton
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« Reply #1951 on: November 20, 2007, 01:14:41 PM »

Gordon looked back at the prison towers in the distance and sighed wistfully.  He was really going to miss...
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whiskeypriest
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« Reply #1952 on: November 21, 2007, 09:30:36 AM »

the urinal, if he didn't start paying attention to business...
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barton
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« Reply #1953 on: November 21, 2007, 11:25:46 AM »

...and the dollars fall against European currencies.  "You're a-peein'" he whispered to himself.  As the dollar sank, there was new hope that the balance of trade would improve for the U.S. and Gordon's uncle would prosper.  His uncle was one of the leading East Coast distributors of urinals and, with the decline in new construction in the U.S., he was looking more at overseas markets.  The trade publication of the industry, the Urinal Journal, had recently been featuring hopeful stories on the trend towards foreign markets. 

All the American businessman needs, thought Gordon, is a fair shake...



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desdemona222b
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« Reply #1954 on: November 21, 2007, 09:52:43 PM »

"I'll just bet you that if I were to buy a bunch of baby toys and dip them all in GHB, it would sabotage the Chinese toy trade, thereby creating new business opportunities right here at home!"
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barton
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« Reply #1955 on: November 27, 2007, 12:48:21 PM »

"Good Golly, Miss Molly," cried Little Richard, as he looked out his kitchen window.

"What is it?" asked his young niece, Molly.

"There's a man in prison clothes standing out in that field over yonder, and he appears to be in deep thought.  He keeps looking back at the guard towers and talking to himself.  Why on earth ain't he running licketysplit outta there?"

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madupont
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« Reply #1956 on: December 01, 2007, 02:27:10 PM »

To be continued, or how Mr. Penniman discovered that the man missed the urinals and didn't understand the absence of one in Richard's Georgia outhouse.
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barton
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« Reply #1957 on: December 04, 2007, 01:40:34 PM »

A call came in from CTU.  Jack Bauer opened his cellphone with one hand, while he finished shaking himself off with the other.  "Yeah?" he said.

"We think we have a lead on the location of the nerve gas canisters," said Chloe.

"I'm all ears," said Jack.

"Someone has placed them in..."

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desdemona222b
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« Reply #1958 on: December 04, 2007, 01:50:53 PM »

...the second Port-O-San toilet to the left at the construction site on 59 Forsyth Street."
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whiskeypriest
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« Reply #1959 on: December 05, 2007, 07:54:53 AM »

"Nonsense!" was the reply, "Everyone knows Port-O-San is code, derived from the mythical movie made about the facilities at Woodstock.  Deciphering the code will reveal the real location as...
...the Jolly Inn, on Irving Park in Chicago, right across from the T. J. Maxx.
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kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #1960 on: December 05, 2007, 09:24:59 AM »

Otherwise known as the Isle of Maxx, where many roamed in search of...
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desdemona222b
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« Reply #1961 on: December 05, 2007, 09:48:21 AM »

(Hiya, Kit!!!)

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kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #1962 on: December 05, 2007, 10:20:54 AM »

          { Greetings, Des! }
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barton
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« Reply #1963 on: December 05, 2007, 11:04:30 AM »

"Otherwise known as the Isle of Maxx, where many roamed in search of..."

debit card numbers and other personal info that could be easily filched from Maxx's poorly guarded computers, thus leading Agent Jack Bauer to start replacing torn and bloody clothing at J.C. Penny's instead.
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barton
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« Reply #1964 on: January 04, 2008, 12:49:59 PM »

It is a New Year, at least according to our rather arbitrary Gregorian calendar which seems to think that ten days past the solstice is a significant point.  Let us cast away the stagnation of last year and begin a new tale and resuscitate the creative life force!

It was a dark night in the city, the air was warm and smelled of cat pee.  In a quiet room on the ninth floor of the Bedlam Apartments....
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