Escape from Elba
Exiles of the New York Times
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Author Topic: Creative Writing  (Read 27108 times)
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nytempsperdu
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« Reply #2010 on: March 29, 2008, 04:42:09 PM »

callipygous rotundity.  "Mon dieu!" cried she, grasping as she gasped (and vice versa), catching the ear and eye of...
« Last Edit: March 29, 2008, 05:23:19 PM by nytempsperdu » Logged
bosox18d
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Bayn Solomon just straight up sucks bum


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« Reply #2011 on: March 30, 2008, 02:58:46 AM »

 a french dwarf that had been run down by a passing Citroen C2V driven by...
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"If it keeps going like this,the Zamboni driver is going to be the first star"
kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #2012 on: March 30, 2008, 12:54:04 PM »

the perpetually enervated Toulouse La Cok -- Peter's brother -- sons of Dru and his wife Ida-Claire -- who were famous for their salted...
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Don't dance on a volcano...
whiskeypriest
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Life is skittles and life is beer.


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« Reply #2013 on: March 30, 2008, 01:18:16 PM »

the perpetually enervated Toulouse La Cok -- Peter's brother -- sons of Dru and his wife Ida-Claire -- who were famous for their salted...
salt, a rare delicacy that, it was said, could make water thirsty....
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What does it matter?  All is grace.
barton
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« Reply #2014 on: March 30, 2008, 01:37:10 PM »

and salt so salty that it could make a pickle tremble in fear.

Toujours La Coq sat up and began to massage his tiny legs.  It had been a rough day, first being shoved up a horse's twat by an angry rancher, and now feeling rather run down after getting a tire-patterned tattoo, courtesy of a Citron, probably the biggest lemon of a car you could find.  "It's like Capote once said," said La Coq, "life is not kind to small things."  Unlike the tiny Capote, who had mastered arm-wrestling in compensation, Toujours La Coq had made the most of other strengths, such as his ability, when confronted with the likes of women such as Penelope Applebottom in the acting of gasping and grasping as described above, to

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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #2015 on: March 30, 2008, 02:49:52 PM »

the perpetually enervated Toulouse La Cok -- Peter's brother -- sons of Dru and his wife Ida-Claire -- who were famous for their salted...

Pea-nuts!

Now, as to Ms. Applebottom and her gasping and grasping -- she's simply allergic  -- and who, without the quickly responsive and ever so dexterous La Coq, certainly would have been left to a quite unsatisfying end (so to speak).   
« Last Edit: March 30, 2008, 02:59:56 PM by kitinkaboodle » Logged

Don't dance on a volcano...
desdemona222b
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« Reply #2016 on: March 31, 2008, 11:40:21 AM »

Toujous brushed himself off, thus soiling his hands, and bemoaned his plight.  "Etre moi, c'est ne pas facile," he sighed.
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barton
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« Reply #2017 on: March 31, 2008, 11:57:15 AM »

Then he sighed for a little longer, because bemoaning was an activity he took seriously and which demanded utmost concentration and "being in the moment" from anyone with a serious artistic purpose.
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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
Beppo
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« Reply #2018 on: March 31, 2008, 12:27:13 PM »

During his annual review Le Coq exploded.

Farleigh Wallop didn't like France. And didn't like dwarves much either. Insisting on repeatedly referring to Le Coq as Mr Coq, he took tremendous satisfaction in expanding Le Coq's duties to include McGuffinism ad hoc.

Le Coq felt helpless. He knew what lay ahead for a dwarf with the word 'McGuffin' in his contract...

« Last Edit: March 31, 2008, 12:55:54 PM by Beppo » Logged
barton
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« Reply #2019 on: March 31, 2008, 01:00:33 PM »

...ignorant contract typists who lived blissfully unaware of Alfred Hitchcock's original spelling of his invented word, "maguffin."



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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
Beppo
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« Reply #2020 on: March 31, 2008, 01:20:33 PM »

Le Coq breathed a sigh of relief. The lawyer continued...

"So you see, monsieur, it's null and void. You're no more contracted to maguffins than these guys here." He pointed sheepishly towards four bowler-hatted jackals lounging in the corner...

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kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #2021 on: March 31, 2008, 02:26:38 PM »

with their weenies and beers waiting for...
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Don't dance on a volcano...
desdemona222b
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« Reply #2022 on: March 31, 2008, 03:27:44 PM »

some hapless rabbit in a prom dress to come along.
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MrUtley3
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X'Cessive Mercenary


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« Reply #2023 on: March 31, 2008, 07:13:19 PM »

When Le Coq saw the Bunny in her costume, he stiffened and...
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Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
nytempsperdu
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« Reply #2024 on: March 31, 2008, 09:31:40 PM »

immediately apologized to the Margaret Dumont doppelganger dowager in line ahead (ahem) of him. Pas du tout she replied, indulging in a bit of nostalgie for the late...
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