Escape from Elba
Exiles of the New York Times
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Author Topic: Creative Writing  (Read 27154 times)
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bosox18d
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Bayn Solomon just straight up sucks bum


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« Reply #2025 on: March 31, 2008, 11:26:21 PM »

Le Petemane."Only a frenchman could make a living as a fartiste" she said to herself while Le Coq took a last drag of his Gauloises and flicked the lit stub to his his left where...
« Last Edit: March 31, 2008, 11:30:56 PM by bosox18d » Logged

"If it keeps going like this,the Zamboni driver is going to be the first star"
desdemona222b
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« Reply #2026 on: April 01, 2008, 09:36:20 AM »

a gas leak was located.  "Mais, non!" "Mon Dieu!" "Merde!"   The crowd was screaming French epithets as the cigarette ignited the gas, resulting in an inferno on the streets of Paris.
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MrUtley3
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« Reply #2027 on: April 01, 2008, 09:59:04 AM »

As havoc reigned supreme, Inspector Clousseau arrived on the scene. Stepping from his Peugot, and right into a puddle of...
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Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #2028 on: April 01, 2008, 10:12:43 AM »

puce putridity, reminding the Inspector to pick-up his...
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Don't dance on a volcano...
desdemona222b
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« Reply #2029 on: April 01, 2008, 11:14:19 AM »

pants - they had mischievously relocated themselves around his ankles...
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barton
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« Reply #2030 on: April 01, 2008, 12:02:17 PM »

...and, due to rips in the fabric of spacetime, both legs were now inside a single pant leg (or pant, if one is to observe the literal meaning of the singular form of "pants"), encased as tightly as sausage and forcing Clouseau to hop along like a contestant in a sack race.  The other leg, now a void insofar as body parts were concerned, flapped in the light breeze, occasionally wrapping itself around
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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
MrUtley3
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« Reply #2031 on: April 01, 2008, 12:50:42 PM »

... a nearby fire hydrant, so that essentially he hopped continually in place until...
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desdemona222b
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« Reply #2032 on: April 01, 2008, 01:51:18 PM »

something very strange happened.  Professor Clouseau was shocked to find himself...
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MrUtley3
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« Reply #2033 on: April 01, 2008, 03:47:33 PM »

something very strange happened.  Professor Clouseau was shocked to find himself...

as a Professor, when a mere 6 posts ago he was an Inspector! What had changed? Was he suddenly an egghead, doomed to a life in academia spending his days trying to quantify quality when before he was a no-nonsense toughguy who knew the mean streets of Paris, London, Hong Kong, LA, and Jersey City? Now what? Would his film noire be colorized by every Tom, Dick, and Ted Turner who happened to come along?

"Get me REWRITE!" he barked, and the director yelled
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Beppo
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« Reply #2034 on: April 02, 2008, 04:07:35 PM »

"Bring me the head of Toujours Le Coq!" And the key-grip...




   
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« Reply #2035 on: April 03, 2008, 10:14:17 AM »

sent in chicken salad sandwiches. Everyone marveled at the flavor, and it was Uma Thurman who remarked, "The secret ingredient is...
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Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #2036 on: April 03, 2008, 10:30:00 AM »




     silly putty, which as a substitute for....
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Don't dance on a volcano...
barton
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« Reply #2037 on: April 03, 2008, 10:33:13 AM »

....chicken!  Of course!" cried Inspector Clouseau.  "All ze land in America zat could feed ze poulets eez now growing ze ethanol, so zair is no real poulet for ze poulet sandwiches.  Tres clevaire."

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desdemona222b
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« Reply #2038 on: April 03, 2008, 11:10:43 AM »

Clouseau felt a slight frisson when a dark brown voice behind him entoned, "Oui, oui, Clouseau.  Tres, tres interessant.  Mais, ou est la biblioteque?"

"Pourquois?" asked Clouseau, as he turned around to face the sight of a ...
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barton
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« Reply #2039 on: April 03, 2008, 11:22:07 AM »

...nude Ed Begley Jr. embracing a rapidly melting snowman named Ernesto, yet another senseless victim of global warming, whose dying wish was to find a first edition copy of Moliere's "Tartuffe" and...
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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
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