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Author Topic: Parenting  (Read 2346 times)
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« on: April 16, 2007, 08:53:20 PM »

Share parenting advice with your peers.
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TrojanHorse
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« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2007, 10:46:30 AM »

Well at 48 years of age, I've just found out that i'm going to be a daddy one more time.  time to pull out all those old books and find some new ones.

I do actually have a couple of really good parenting books that were recommended by child therapists.  I'll dig them out and post them if there is anyone that might be interested.
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liquidsilver
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« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2007, 10:48:13 AM »

Congratulations! -- I think.
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"I hate listening to peoples dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody's having sex, I just don't care."
TrojanHorse
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« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2007, 10:59:08 AM »

uh...yes... thank you ... I think.

I feel a bit like Steve Martin in Father of the Bride.

I told my wife, I'll be the only 70 year old watching my child graduate from high school.

Oh well, it keeps you young I suppose.
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TrojanHorse
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« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2007, 04:02:10 PM »

Very hearty congrats, TrojanHorse!  (but should your screen name really involve the name of a condom? ;-))

How old is the young'un-to-be's nearest sibling?  My 2 are 26 years apart--a generation by some reckonings--and I'll be approaching 70 when my younger one graduates from college.  And oh yeah, I'm the mom.   

Wow...well your accomplshment is definitely greater than mine. 

My oldest is 17, but from a different mom (passed away).  We actually thought we were getting a late start back then...

The other child is 5 now.  This mom is 37 currently.
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TrojanHorse
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« Reply #5 on: May 30, 2007, 07:14:11 PM »

Now if you can just get the teenage boys to have to carry it around with them...
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weezo
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« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2007, 10:23:58 PM »

NYTemp,

That project was a mid-spring event at Nottoway, and it was always fun to see where the kids would stuff their sack of flour. When they'd put "Baby" on the rack under their seat, I'd point out that that was no way to treat a baby, and make them move it to the top of the desk, or, if they were doing something that took a lot of space, I'd let them lay the babies on the back table. To be effective, EVERYONE in the building has to get into it, including the sports coaches and the janitorial staff (Babies get forgotten in the restroom!). It is really more fun for the adults than for the students.



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TrojanHorse
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« Reply #7 on: June 01, 2007, 12:06:13 PM »

I heard on the news this morning that an 18 month old boy was killed by crawling into a dishwasher that was set to automatically turn on when closed.

His older brother found him.

Everyone should walk through their house this weekend trying to think about deathtraps like this that aren't obvious...
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weezo
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« Reply #8 on: June 01, 2007, 02:25:16 PM »

NY Temps,

What delightful articles. I know children who are adopted reach a point where many want to find out who their birth parents are/were, but I am surprised that the children of donors would also have the same urge. Perhaps there is a biological need to know one's parents even if one is living with a wonderful pair of nurturing parents already. The unknown never ceases to call!
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weezo
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« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2007, 01:37:24 PM »

I see lots of problems with kids finding out that their father is a "free-spirit" without a sense of responsibility. But, I don't think that realization is limited to kids of sperm donors. I see a lot of it with men who deposit their sperm in the old-fashioned way, and then walk away. We need to somehow return respectability and responsibility to fatherhood. It has become a "aha, look what I can do" sorta sum-zero game for quite some time.
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TrojanHorse
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« Reply #10 on: June 04, 2007, 05:26:26 PM »

I see lots of problems with kids finding out that their father is a "free-spirit" without a sense of responsibility.

I eulogized my "step" father this past week and this was actually a big part of the topic.  He stepped up for the family when the biological father ran away to Canada and never looked back.

It is harder to show discipline and do what is best for the family rather than doing what feels good for you personally all the time.  But this is what ultimately builds a stronger family and fabric for that matter...
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Dzimas
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« Reply #11 on: June 06, 2007, 10:30:07 AM »

Speaking of deathtraps, it was sobering to watch an Explorer episode on house fires, and how by the time a smoke detector comes on, smoke has already engulfed the room.  It takes about 5 minutes for a bedroom to burn.  Sprinklers were little help as well, as the heat in the room was close to 200 F before they went on. 
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« Reply #12 on: June 07, 2007, 10:06:35 AM »

Trojanhorse,

Not to worry.  I have known a number of people, one (a poet) in particular, who had to have time to establish themselves, before becoming a father at some point in their forties. (My son seems to be doing a step-fathering rather well, as did one of my brothers.)

Incidentally, I had no idea that the Flour-Sack "baby" was a continuing feature educationally, since I remember my  husband(who died several years ago) telling me about his having introduced this feature, since he was a rather good father himself who was used to that full time responsibility. Often this comes  from being the oldest child, yourself. But, he had also worked as a psychotherapist with children who had been removed from families for whatever reason, when I first met him at the university. Later on when he went into government work for Housing and Urban Development during the Johnson administration, he was alert to this problem of teenage pregnancies becoming out of proportion. The idea began in special classes involving home-economics, and personally, I'd say this was because some urban education decided to take advantage of  the new-fast-food cultural shift by using it as an excuse to vocationally train young people as kitchen workers for employment opportunities in food franchises. 

There were other aspects of the home-economics program, with a concern for the household budget, preparation to understand those factors, discussions about adolescent marriage and fatherhood. Then, the eureka idea of the "baby" who is with you 24 hours per day, came to mind as something that could be experienced by approximation. 

It just never occurred to me that it would still be in practice 30 years later! But, then looking back much further than that, it seems to me that the baby, who had to be with you throughout the day everywhere you went because there were no baby-sitters,  weighed a lot more than that flour-sack until you had a stroller to use while counter-balancing what, a 30-50 pound bag of groceries?             
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TrojanHorse
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« Reply #13 on: June 19, 2007, 12:33:09 AM »

Smiley
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« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2007, 04:01:17 AM »

thorse,

I told my wife, I'll be the only 70 year old watching my child graduate from high school.

Been there, done that!  Old family tradition among the men in my family.  My grandfather was 50 when my father was born, he was 43 when I was born, and I was 45 when my youngest child (of 5) was born.  I know that I was far more patient with her than I was with the older ones.
ENJOY THE TRIP!
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