Escape from Elba
Exiles of the New York Times
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Author Topic: Comedy  (Read 6576 times)
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obertray
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« Reply #345 on: April 03, 2008, 11:43:17 AM »

I lent my copy out and haven't seen it since! You know what? I have a library card! I think I will go get it and reread it too!
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ponderosa
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« Reply #346 on: April 03, 2008, 12:14:35 PM »

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-job-comedic-short-film/72319371
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obertray
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« Reply #347 on: April 04, 2008, 10:51:01 AM »

Not a real joke sort of post, more of a jokes on me sort of thing.

So not so very long ago I had commented (in another forum) about a group of people in Colorada who were saying "Somebody ought to help us!" because they were in the remnants of a mining town where the mines were filling with water and the fear was that the mines were going to blow and the water, laced with the nasty chemicals that had been mined there, would toxify the territory.

My take was/is that somebody DID do something to help them; they named the town Leadville! Villes often having a name that reflects what went on there, there is no real alternative than to think that Leadville is a place where you'd rather not be. Whether the town is made of lead, or if the town got it's name for flying lead, or if the town got it's name from lead production, in all cases the name ought to be a warning to stay away. It like people in Tannersville complaining that there are no hemlock trees and that the ground water is tainted by tannin. Well that's why they called it Tannersville! (actually, Tannersville is down the street from Prattsville which was built by Pratt, and was home to the worlds most productive tannery).

But I digress...

So the other night I was chatting with my daughter about the high school varsity softball team she is on and the tournament they had recently play at.

She couldn't get over the fact there were still piles of snow around the ball park and that the fields were is such terrible condition. "It was muck everywhere you stepped, you should see my cleats." "Hmmph!" said I trying my damnedest not to be a hypocrit!

Hypocrit? I? No never! How could I let her complain? I mean after all, she was playing softball in the town named MUDVILLE!

There was no joy there either, she got a hit!
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obertray
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« Reply #348 on: April 04, 2008, 10:58:24 AM »

A man is sitting on the living room floor, watching the game on tv and playing with his little girl.

She comes over to him while he is watching holding up her hand and pointing her little fingers.

"Lookit."

"OOOOhhh those look delicious! I'm gonna eat those fingers up, num num num num num!" as he lovingly "chomps" on her fingers in his mouth.

The daughter squeels with delight and pulls her hand out of his grip. His attention goes back to the game and his daughter goes from delight to dispair, Squeeling, to crying.

"What's the matter dearie? Daddy didn't hurt you, he was only kidding."

The daughter looks from her fingers to daddy's mouth, to her fingers, then holds up her hand and asks.


"What happened to my booger?"

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pugetopolis
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« Reply #349 on: April 04, 2008, 03:46:29 PM »



The Fart and the Fury
—for William Faulkner

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow—
I fart in this shitty place from day to day…
Down to the last stinky turd of recorded time,
And all my diarhea has flushed me clean in
This place of shitty death. Out, out, stinky fart!
Life's but an endless toilet, a poor plunger
That struts and frets its hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: a Rotor-Rooter
Child-idiot, full of farts and fury…
Signifying nothing."

http://www.mcsr.olemiss.edu/~egjbp/faulkner/faux.html


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“Other people's obsessions
are more often funny than tragic.”
—Vincent Canby, The New York Times
nytempsperdu
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« Reply #350 on: April 06, 2008, 08:25:15 PM »

In return for kiddo joke above, herewith:

Jake is 5 and learning to read. He points at a picture in a zoo book and says, " Look Mama! It's a frickin' Elephant !"

Deep breath .. "What did you call it ?"   

"It's a frickin' Elephant, Mama! It says so on the picture!"

And so it does .. "A f r i c a n  Elephant "

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barton
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« Reply #351 on: April 07, 2008, 11:15:35 AM »

Good one.  And thanks for clearing some of the fart smell from the room.

 "To pee or not to pee...."

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"Nothing more foolish than a man chasing his hat!"
nytempsperdu
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« Reply #352 on: April 10, 2008, 09:28:09 PM »

Happy to oblige, tho' I will confess to a revert-to-age-8 reaction in our household when stories appear on the news about the endangered fish known as the delta smelt, as in he who...
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ponderosa
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« Reply #353 on: April 11, 2008, 09:25:52 AM »

Professor Burger! Where were you thirty years ago when I needed ya?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=EX_is9LzFSY
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nytempsperdu
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« Reply #354 on: April 13, 2008, 01:33:23 AM »

Ponder!  My high schooler says many thanks for now being able to have what was not to be had 30 years ago.   (Her mom is also grateful, though mystified more than somewhat.)
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ponderosa
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« Reply #355 on: April 13, 2008, 11:39:25 AM »

I coulda been an engineer (en-gu-nir, not en-ju-nir)!  Cheesy

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Urethra_Franklin
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« Reply #356 on: April 13, 2008, 11:40:48 AM »

Funniest youtube clip EVER



http://youtube.com/watch?v=eMBojeJf17M



I'm disappointed that none of mine made it on there
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"Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just."



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barton
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« Reply #357 on: April 13, 2008, 06:35:56 PM »

That calculus video, at least the first couple minutes, seemed a marvel of clarity, even watching it here in a univ. computer lab where I didn't have sound. 

The only math joke that springs to mind is dredged from my childhood....

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

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"Nothing more foolish than a man chasing his hat!"
Kam
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« Reply #358 on: April 14, 2008, 04:27:08 PM »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rla0vs4djYs
just click it.
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You know when, like, you're little, your dad, you think he's Superman. Then when you grow up and realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape.
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ponderosa
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« Reply #359 on: April 14, 2008, 08:17:23 PM »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeo0_3gN190
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