Comedy

[barton]

Self-explanatory:

http://m.friendfeed-media.com/a62737f6bc7f63f32fa915d5790473da5902d8ca

[nytempsperdu]

If you read the Original "Runaway General" in Rolling Stone (and saw an ancient frat boy movie)
 
 
June 23, 2010
General McChrystals Twitters

By GAIL COLLINS

Get short, timely messages from Gen. Stanley McChrystal on Twitter:

DAY 1

In Paris with my Kabul posse Bluto, Otter, Boon, Pinto, Flounder. Plus some newbie. Guys call him Scribbles.

Suites getting pretty crowded. Good thing I sleep standing up.

Three hours of shuteye and back to work. Have to read every report check the details! Like I told Scribbles. The little fellows a fan.

DAY 2

Stuck going to dinner w/ some damned French minister. Gang riding me big. Bluto says they will make me eat snails. Hell of a funny guy, Bluto.

Restaurant ultra-Gucci. No Bud Light Lime. Damn. Wish I was on foot patrol in Kandahar.

Minister yammering diplomatic bull. Id rather have my ass kicked by a roomful of people. As if they could. LOL


Still talking. Better at this diplomatic stuff than I used to be. Learned a lot in last few years. Like, dont mention mission failure.


Whoops. Mentioned mission failure. Dont think the minister noticed.


Steak comes covered in some goop. Miss my gruel.

Dinner's over. Ran 12 miles.

DAY 3

Missus is here! Hell of a surprise. Turns out its our 33rd wedding anniversary.

Wife wants the gang out of the hotel room. Women. Cant live with them, cant live without them for more than 11 months at a time.

Time for anniversary dinner. Does this country never stop eating?

Night starts on a bad note McDonalds wont let Pinto and Otter bring in the Tequiza. Damn. Wanted to show Missus a good time.

Comeback kids found a bar next to the hotel. Wiped the Gucci drink specials off the chalkboard and we are diagramming up a storm.

Team America is partying! Blutos doing his impression of Joe Biden. Scribbles taped whole thing get ready for laughs when we get home.

DAY 4

Spent the morning e-mailing back and forth with Kabul. They cant get Karzai to come out of his room again.

Hanging out at a cafe. Were shooting the breeze about the dingbat diplomatic corps. Except Hillary.

Pinto reminds me how intimidated Obama looked around the generals. Yeah, but the guy really trusts my judgment.

Found Scribbles sitting in potted plant next to our table. Kid must like nature.

DAY 5

Said goodbye to the Missus. Great gal. Cant wait to see her again once the war is over.

Berlins the next stop, but that damn Iceland volcano has everything grounded. Cant believe Europeans are afraid to fly in a little ash.

Got another e-mail from Holbrooke.

Bluto does his riff about Holbrooke as a crippled impala & Im the lion. Scribbles really digging it.

Great news weve got a bus to take us to Berlin. Nothing but Team America and a luggage rack crammed with Bud Light Lime.

Scribbles wants to come, too. Told him only if he buys the next two cases.

ROAD TRIP!!!!

[pugetopolis]

Hey, Bart. Here’s one for you!!!

Vaginal Orgasms? It May Be In The Way That She Talks  

June 24, 2010

(ChattahBox) – In an attempt to better understand the believed correlation between sexual function and mental health, researchers are now looking at links in vaginal orgasms, and the way a woman talks.

The idea was that sexologists witnesses a woman’s method of talking, and then tried to see if they could make an educated guess as to the history of their sexual orgasms, including whether or not they have vaginal climaxes.

Researchers were surprised by results, which showed more than 81% accuracy on guessing the sexual function without any knowledge of the woman’s case history.

Scientists believe there is a greater pelvic and vertebral rotation as well as big mouth commotion with women who have vaginal orgasms, then those that require direct stimulation to achieve climax.

http://chattahbox.com/science/2010/06/24/vaginal-orgasms-it-may-be-in-the-way-that-she-walks

[RagStagRagaFragit]

So you've seen this video http://tinyurl.com/36aa8lo of the Russians sending a donkey skyward.

When asked to what they were trying to say with this act they are reported to have replied, "Any bohunk with a view from the front porch can tell you, Parasailin is an Ack Jass!"

[Kam]

Home Buyer: Well, I give up. What's the catch?

Real Estate Agent: Oh, no catch.  Although we are, technically, in New Jersey.

[RagStagRagaFragit]

All this noise about this Lady Gaga, the latest pop diva.

Well, to her credit, nobody can call her a Prima Donna.

She is absolutely a Post Madonna character!

[Kam]

if build had an "f" instead of a "b" it would be more fluid.

[Kam]

Woman#1:
All men are pigs!

Woman #2:
You just have to give guys a chance. Sometimes you meet a guy and think he's a pig, but then later on you realize he actually has a really good body.

[Kam]

Look, we're your family; if you can't discuss your problems with us -- that would be great.

[Kam]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbeE0iI2LZg&feature=channel

You're gonna rip your dick off.

[Kam]

How to escape the "friend" zone and get the girl you like who is seeing someone else.

http://batteriesfeelincluded.blogspot.com/2009/05/309.html

[Kam]

I wonder if the gym locker rooms in Asia are filled with naked white people.

[Kam]

I'm trying to be like all the other non-conformists.

[Kam]

“The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts the moment you get up and doesn’t stop until you get into the office.” ~ Robert Frost

[Kam]

bulimics are so fickle. One minute they're full of themselves then the next minute they're not.