Escape from Elba
Exiles of the New York Times
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Author Topic: Comedy  (Read 10397 times)
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elportenito
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« Reply #60 on: July 26, 2007, 05:49:07 AM »

...maybe you curse the darkness because you can't find the bloody matches to light the fricken candle?....
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Kam
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« Reply #61 on: July 27, 2007, 09:25:33 PM »

I like the phrase ... "the whole nine yards"

People assume its football related but then wouldn't it be ten yards?

Actually i remember hearing its a military term.  Machine gunners on WW2 era fighter planes were often told by the flight crew to give the enemy the whole nine yards (of bullets in the ammunition belt).
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You know when, like, you're little, your dad, you think he's Superman. Then when you grow up and realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape.
-Dave Attell
TrojanHorse
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« Reply #62 on: July 27, 2007, 09:34:06 PM »

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Whole_Nine_Yards

keep working on it
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BorisBartenov
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« Reply #63 on: July 30, 2007, 10:15:54 AM »

I had always heard that nine yards of cement was the full content of a cement mixing truck.  I don't know why Wikipedia would dismiss this explanation, as it provides the one instance of a totality of something actually being nine yards, and I have heard it verified by a contractor.   Though I had to wait three weeks for his verification.

What about the whole kit and kaboodle?  Can you ask for just the kaboodle and, if so, how much would you get?

If there were 14 fish in the barrel, how many would you have to shoot to get a kaboodle of fish?  (This is on the quiz tomorrow)

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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #64 on: July 30, 2007, 11:30:50 AM »


What about the whole kit and kaboodle?  Can you ask for just the kaboodle and, if so, how much would you get?





That would depend on who was asking... Wink
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BorisBartenov
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« Reply #65 on: July 30, 2007, 12:31:45 PM »

Kit,

I sort of had a feeling you might want to chime in on this topic. 

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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
desdemona222b
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« Reply #66 on: July 31, 2007, 03:32:00 PM »

bart -

Shooting fish in a barrel is idiotic for all the reasons you explicated, therefore you say it's "like shooting fish in a barrel".

How about
"You can just go to hell in a handbasket."  How does the handbasket add to the agonies of going to hell?
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BorisBartenov
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« Reply #67 on: August 01, 2007, 10:30:33 AM »

I'm guessing that what would have to be done to your body to make it fit in a handbasket would add to the overall discomfort?  If Dorothy's dog, Toto, were sent to hell in a handbasket, it wouldn't really make things any worse because Toto fits easily.



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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."
Kam
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« Reply #68 on: August 01, 2007, 11:34:53 AM »

Many people assume God handed the 10 Commandments to Moses and thats all to the story.  Unbeknownst to many, God actually handed the 10 Commandments down to some other guy whose name has been lost to History.  Basically God told him to spread the word that people should live by these simple tenets.

Apparently the story goes that this man first went to Italy, where he tried to market the 10 commandments to the local people living there.  He was speaking to an italian man who asked him, "Give me an example of your 10 commandments so that i may understand the worthiness you ascribe to it"

"Thou shalt not kill" replied the holy man.

"No thanks" Replied the italian.  "Thats not going to fly here.  We have this little thing called the Mafia and they do their business the hard way sometimes"

The holy man gave up on Italy and went to France wherein he had a similar conversation with a Frenchman.

"Thou shalt not commit adultery" said the holy man when pressed for an example of one of the commandments.

The frenchman shook his head no. "That simply will not do, this is France mon ami"

Undaunted, the holy man pressed on into Romania, where he happened upon a Gypsy man.  The Gypsy took great interest until the holy man gave him a sample commandment.

"Thou shalt not steal" said the holy man.

"Come on" said the Gypsy. "Leave this place at once"

Finally, exhausted and nearing the end of his life, the man went to Israel and spoke to a Jew.  He said, "I have written commandments from God for you and your people to live by"

The Israeli man said "How much for a sample"

"Gods word is free of charge" said the holy man, to which the Israeli replied

"Ok, i'll take ten!"
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You know when, like, you're little, your dad, you think he's Superman. Then when you grow up and realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape.
-Dave Attell
elportenito
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« Reply #69 on: August 01, 2007, 05:43:00 PM »

kam, you're an antiitalianite.
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TrojanHorse
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« Reply #70 on: August 01, 2007, 05:46:56 PM »

I was satisfied with Mel Brooks' version...

"I hold here these 15 commandme...whoaa"  <drops one of three tablets which shatters to bits>

<pause>

"I hold here these 10 commandments"
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obertray
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« Reply #71 on: August 09, 2007, 10:29:59 AM »

It's not a "Kit and Kaboodle" it's a Kitten Kaboodle.

A kitten kaboodle is somewhere between a kitten fricasse and a Catman goolash.

Kind of a "you got carrots, onions, bread crumbs and hot oil on my kitten!" "You got kitten on my hot oil etc!"

Mmmmm!
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kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #72 on: August 09, 2007, 10:40:24 AM »

Obertray--

I'll see you in my office...three oc'clock...sharp.
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obertray
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« Reply #73 on: August 09, 2007, 10:51:24 AM »

What exactly do we do in your office? Will there be fish? Will there be a barrel? How about a handbasket?

Dang it!

There I was all happy that I was getting called into the office for my very first post and then I remembered the name I had wanted to use the next time I signed up for a forum!

I figured that the world record holder for Godwinning oneself was the guy who wrote an article in the NYT that was then the "topic of discussion" but he had Godwinned himself in the article.

So I wanted to take the crown by using the handle "Uber Alles", that way I would have Godwinned myself before the thread even had a topic!

And now you know for sure that you know who I am.
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obertray
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« Reply #74 on: August 09, 2007, 03:38:08 PM »

Let me just tell you all this... If Kitinkaboodle summons you to her office at 3:00 sharp......

GO!
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