Escape from Elba
Exiles of the New York Times
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Author Topic: Comedy  (Read 6540 times)
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obertray
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« Reply #120 on: September 24, 2007, 01:05:35 PM »

Yeah, well... I see Ur one be and raise U tu be!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCUBxgdKZ_Y&mode=related&search=

For some reason I had seen many of these on my own Teevee but the auto dealership is in Oregon! Why they'd be advertising in my neighborhood is beyond me.
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obertray
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« Reply #121 on: September 28, 2007, 09:59:57 AM »

World Famous Mime Marcel Marceau died this past week..

It is reported that his last words were "                                                    "
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kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #122 on: September 28, 2007, 10:39:56 AM »

 Cheesy
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Don't dance on a volcano...
barton
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« Reply #123 on: September 28, 2007, 11:30:57 AM »

Why does a deaf/mute always masturbate with only one hand?

So they can moan with the other.

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"Nothing more foolish than a man chasing his hat!"
ponderosa
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« Reply #124 on: October 02, 2007, 11:16:36 PM »

¿Que hora es?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pCBGeny1DM
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srnich
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« Reply #125 on: October 03, 2007, 09:30:54 AM »

Best song from a great film.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2wrte1ijlY

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srnich
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« Reply #126 on: October 03, 2007, 09:33:43 AM »


¿;D?
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obertray
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« Reply #127 on: October 03, 2007, 12:37:56 PM »

Best song from a great film.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2wrte1ijlY



I don't get it.

Of Time Bandits and Brazil, I like Brazil second best. I thought the scene in Pirates of The Carribean: Dead Man's Chest where they are in the bone cages was a direct lift from Time Bandits   which held the best line of that movie "Anybody want some rat? Might be your last meal!"

Actually, that line didn't make the cut at IMDb http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081633/quotes  but there are lots of good lines there.
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ponderosa
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« Reply #128 on: October 03, 2007, 12:53:23 PM »


Phew. I thought it was just me.

Lotsa "Time Bandits" references lately. Guess I need to rent it soon. Been a long time since I've seen it.
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barton
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« Reply #129 on: October 05, 2007, 10:55:14 AM »

"I love you," says one maggot to another.

"Are you serious?" asks the other.

"I'm in dead earnest," replies the first.

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obertray
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« Reply #130 on: October 05, 2007, 11:40:44 AM »

He was a shy maggot, so he said it in his own hemming way....
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barton
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« Reply #131 on: October 08, 2007, 11:01:43 AM »

When you reach Hero Member status, you can expand on my jokes.

Until then, you are risking a wedgie. 

Which can be painful to a full member.

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madupont
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« Reply #132 on: October 08, 2007, 09:08:26 PM »

Passed along by an Italian woman to her friends.

"In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game , she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!


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barton
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« Reply #133 on: October 10, 2007, 11:45:18 AM »

"...making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress...."

What is it about waitresses that seems to indicate to Rooney that they are easy?  As a balding relic (though clean, tidy, and of youthful build), I have no evidence that there are 22 year old waitresses who are even interested in letting me make a fool of myself in their direction.  When women that age say they like older men, what they mean is men who are age 25-32 and have grown out of being total clueless jerks.  There are a few of those.

Personally, I find women closer to my age much more interesting and am pretty much on the same page as Rooney.
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madupont
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« Reply #134 on: October 11, 2007, 10:56:22 AM »

barton,

I think Andy Rooney has someone closer to his own age in mind, something like a relic of the old Esquire logo who had a white mustache and a wardrobe probably from Abercrombie & Fitch who was kind of a father-figure to young ladies occasionally referred to by the obsolete term "gold-diggers" although an occasional Broadway show might have that title such as "Gold Diggers of 19--", you pick a year, with chorus girls, music ,singers, and comedy acts. Speaking of which, doesn't anybody have a better joke to post by now?
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