Escape from Elba
Exiles of the New York Times
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Author Topic: Comedy  (Read 6526 times)
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TrojanHorse
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« Reply #150 on: November 06, 2007, 01:19:23 PM »

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed.

Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokie Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 83. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in... and then the trouble started.

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kitinkaboodle
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« Reply #151 on: November 06, 2007, 01:24:01 PM »




 Grin Grin Grin
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Don't dance on a volcano...
Urethra_Franklin
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« Reply #152 on: November 08, 2007, 04:06:47 PM »

Knock knock............
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"Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just."



--Thomas Jefferson
ponderosa
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« Reply #153 on: November 08, 2007, 04:29:10 PM »

Dave's not here!
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TrojanHorse
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« Reply #154 on: November 08, 2007, 07:37:39 PM »

.... a little bit more for Sandy Claus...
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ponderosa
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« Reply #155 on: November 09, 2007, 08:17:33 AM »

.... a little bit more for Sandy Claus...

I don't get it.

I'll 'splain mine... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7gWB7IzxtU
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madupont
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« Reply #156 on: November 13, 2007, 12:00:43 AM »

Q:    How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take  to change a light bulb?

Woman's Answer: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!!  IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!!     IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL!!
I'm sorry. What was the question?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know why but I've run into this at this web-site from women who protest to me that they are not having any menopause yet.

What does that mean?

They tell me I must be taking the wrong medication.

What medication?

Does this mean they have been taking medication  so as to not have any menopause yet?

If so, big mistake.  Sex is far more interesting post-menopause.
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madupont
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« Reply #157 on: November 13, 2007, 03:25:45 PM »

WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY

There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses! I thought the results were pretty interesting:

a.. 85% of women think their ass is too fat...

b.. 10% of women think their ass is too skinny...

c.. The other 5% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they would have married him anyway.

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ponderosa
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« Reply #158 on: November 14, 2007, 09:43:09 AM »

well, you know what they say...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUsjR4FSgSQ
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elportenito1
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« Reply #159 on: November 19, 2007, 07:57:12 AM »

flyingVprod: Is that THE Flying Tony, or just someone usurping the ilustrious name.?......
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in vino veritas
nytempsperdu
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« Reply #160 on: November 19, 2007, 11:11:00 PM »

Q: What becomes of the spirits of all the birds eaten on Thanksgiving? 
A: They become poultrygeists.
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ponderosa
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« Reply #161 on: November 20, 2007, 07:49:30 AM »

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article2890531.ece

When men meet fair-haired women they really do have a “blonde moment”. Scientists have found that their mental performance drops, apparently because they believe they are dealing with someone less intelligent...
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madupont
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« Reply #162 on: November 20, 2007, 03:27:01 PM »


flyingVprod: Is that THE Flying Tony, or just someone usurping the ilustrious name.?......


Yes, elP, that is the "illustrious" Tony Verley,formerly of Latin or South American forum  at nytimes. I was worried about him during the recent fires on the Coast, so contacted him since fires were coming down into his area in kind of striated drafts, they'd hit one place and not another, then next few days they hit someplace else or come back again.  My sister in law used to live up on that northern curve off of the Pacific Highway.
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madupont
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« Reply #163 on: November 20, 2007, 04:03:18 PM »


http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article2890531.ece

When men meet fair-haired women they really do have a “blonde moment”. Scientists have found that their mental performance drops, apparently because they believe they are dealing with someone less intelligent...


Personally, I have seldom found that to be the case, it's just something about how blondes have this disingenuous expression on their faces when listening to a man and wondering  if men really are as dumb as they sound when they get that "blonde moment" thing.  They look kind of like little girls, the blondes that is, when they get that expression. Don't worry, they outgrow it by middle-age.

I liked the other "Scientists have found" statement that came out recently that proved Redheads had more sex than women with any other color of hair.  The funny thing is that many foxy russet-rose haired younger women loathe that tone once they found out they could be blond and have more fun, as in Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Marilyn Monroe having been one of them, but I first heard it from a much younger "movie star" while she was still in the ingenue category.

Which is why twice in my life having been blonde  by choice, according to either the time or the location because some communities have a social strata that require it, I generally give up on it before it ruins my hair; having had that pointed out by an Italian who would know about "cheap blondes", since i first tried this back in the era of Janis Joplin plus the Mamas and the Papas. It probably had something to do with having a big excessively intimidating German boyfriend who was a body-builder and knew that dowdy blondes look frowzie(or, frau-sy, as the case may be). These guys never worry about other guys hitting on their girl-friend because other guys are intimidated by the appearance of the body-builder; which has nothing to say about whether he is the least worried about hitting on some other guy's girlfriend, since he is bigger than the other guy. Gosh, have we described Arnold Schwarznegger or not?   

In those days, it was either blonde or you could always get an Afro-wig in a nice auburn tone.

This is not to say that there is not also a prejudice against brunettes as easily available, which comes as quite a surprise if you have never been one but are experimenting. My mother was a brunette for the greater part of her life during which she was also a femme fatale; but, with two grandmother's who were both red-heads, I didn't stand a chance. I realized that when living among blondes is the common denominator, it doesn't hurt to darken your hair gradually with something like Lazartigue which had a studio in New York that could also supply you with  what are known as dark auburn highlights and a nice violet toner when I was still at the age of agile flexibility to tape a cut next to the mirror and go to it, cutting my own hair, shingled up the back, and cut with bangs above the eyebrows and points of hair longer than the shingling accentuating the cheekbones by swing just below at the hollow below the bone. 

I found that when an Italian beautician wants to give you a perm to put body in your hair, forget it and just go to an Italian barber who will cut your hair expertly from your merely providing the description of the styling.  This is cost-effective. But I hate being trapped in the barber-chair,draped in a white towel, and having to listen to a couple a barbers in Jersey complain about Al Sharpton, if you know what I mean.



   
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ponderosa
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« Reply #164 on: November 21, 2007, 06:39:57 AM »

turn down the volume and play the kinks' "apeman".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4a1z7NLnNk

and be thankful if you don't work with any of these folks. or be thankful if you survived any of these folks. oh hell, just be thankful. peace.
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