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Exiles of the New York Times
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Author Topic: Comedy  (Read 6663 times)
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ponderosa
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« Reply #195 on: January 25, 2008, 06:56:35 PM »

Will work for... revenge!

http://www.crazyshit.com/site/pics/images/homeless_nigger_sign.jpg
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ponderosa
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« Reply #196 on: January 28, 2008, 11:38:23 AM »

For adults only.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTOQhPd2Xh4
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MrUtley3
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« Reply #197 on: January 29, 2008, 11:06:53 PM »

A drunk walks up to a parking meter, puts a dime in and says, "Gee! I lost 100 pounds!"
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"That guy over there played with Ty Cobb," said Phillies bench coach Jimy Williams, pointing to Chase Utley. "He's been here before."  quoted in the Boston Globe
ponderosa
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« Reply #198 on: January 31, 2008, 10:11:11 AM »

if you have five minutes and forty-three seconds to spare...

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/970403/amazing_photos/
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Urethra_Franklin
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« Reply #199 on: January 31, 2008, 06:08:30 PM »

What's the meanest thing you can do to a blind person?



Leave the plunger in the toilet!
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"Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just."



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Urethra_Franklin
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« Reply #200 on: January 31, 2008, 06:09:27 PM »

How many animals can you fit into a pair of panty hose?



Two calves, an ass, a beaver, a whole bunch of hares, and a fish you can't find
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Urethra_Franklin
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« Reply #201 on: January 31, 2008, 06:10:24 PM »

If a chick got pregnant from having anal sex, would the child be a crack baby or an asshole?
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"Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just."



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Urethra_Franklin
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« Reply #202 on: January 31, 2008, 06:12:10 PM »

Two little sperms were traveling to an egg.  1st sperm said "Are we at da egg yet?"  2nd replied "HELL NO, we're still in this bitch's throat!  Keep swimming!"
« Last Edit: January 31, 2008, 06:14:57 PM by Urethra_Franklin » Logged

"Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just."



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elportenito1
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« Reply #203 on: February 03, 2008, 08:17:49 AM »

Kam: Thank you for the one about the three nuns.

 Did you hear about the drunk who after asking how tall could be the shortest possible nun, discovered in disgust he had just have sex with a penguin.
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in vino veritas
elportenito1
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« Reply #204 on: February 03, 2008, 08:21:31 AM »

Who's Garrison Keilor?, and why would parents name a child so?
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in vino veritas
elportenito1
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« Reply #205 on: February 03, 2008, 08:25:13 AM »

A nun, a priest and a rabi enter a bar, and there's nothing funny about it. Ok?
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in vino veritas
madupont
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« Reply #206 on: February 03, 2008, 11:28:31 AM »

Who's Garrison Keilor?, and why would parents name a child so?


elportenito1

He's a theatrical comedian of the radio show, The Prairie Home Companion, broadcast from Minnesota; occasionally seen on tv, then a film was made not too long ago with Meryl Streep but which I haven't yet seen, and he also tours to other appearances in theatres.  There is a book as well about the mythical Minnesota town of Lake Wobegon, which is factually like many little towns in the area for several states around. When I was in proximity for awhile in 1981-1982,  in or, on what is known as, the "West Coast of Wisconsin", I often listened to him on the radio Saturday nights and I often say that if I had known he would have written a book about  the people and places mentioned weekly on The Prairie Home Companion that I would have tried to beat him to the punch and write about it myself because I was located in a village of 400 people exactly like Wobegon known as Gays Mills.Some of the people even had the same last names.

I'm pretty sure that he most likely got his first name because of this man:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Lloyd_Garrison

As these US Territories opened up in which Keilor's forebears located, and my great-grandparents in another nearby locale, and some more great-grandparents on the other side of the great river and further east of the confluence of the rivers, William Lloyd Garrison was an important national figure to them who believed in Abolition, if you read the article on the Kansas Insurrection under the wiki heading, you will get it. To the settlers, the question of Kansas was important to them whether it would be a free state or remain a slave state. At the time that all our great-grandparents came from Europe to the territories, it was important whether each area had sufficient voters to become officially a state in the Union(or United States).

Kansas was at that time holding out to maintain a slave territory siding with the South in what became the Civil War. My forebears on the Wisconsin side of the River, some of them in Upstate New York,like many others fought in the Civil War on the Union side.

In other words, I have watched with interest for the last couple of years as Senator Barack Obama, one side of whose family came from Kansas, prepared for the Presidency; because frankly while I was there in Gays Mills an incident took place further down river at a place named after the more well-known Harpers Ferry, a young couple had walked north from Chicago, come across the river and planned to stay over night before traveling onward but an overly large crowd of people gathered to take a look at them because there were no other Black people around, the situation appeared to be rather menacing, especially if you come from a place as urbane as Chicago.  I was working with some people who had come from there to work at least for the summers; we were picking crops during the year that the US Labor Department failed to be able to find jobs for god knows how many Americans; but, I had a Swiss friend who had come from Europe when her family left toward the end of the 1920s to get out in time, so she realized the predicament and told me where to find work  in the area during each season of the year. The Chicago women went back to their teaching job for the Fall term. I and Frieda worked during the apple harvest as she had for thirty years. I expect that the couple at the lesser known Harpers Ferry continued going to the West.

Anyway, if you want to find out more of who Garrison Keilor is and what he is like, I'm informed that you can listen to him in Australia on ABC; and find out what the people are like in this region by listening to The Prairie Home Companion.
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Urethra_Franklin
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« Reply #207 on: February 04, 2008, 05:09:57 AM »

Why do midgets laugh, while running naked through a field?



Cause the grass tickles their balls
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"Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just."



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obertray
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« Reply #208 on: February 04, 2008, 10:43:06 AM »

Girl comes home from school and says "Mommy! Mommy; today in math the class did multiplication I got up to the 3 times table and everybody else got up to their 5s! Is that because I'm blond."

"No, dear." soothed the mother.

Next day "Mommy! Mommy; today in spelling I spelled "shirt" S...H..I..T everybody laughed! Is that because I'm blond?"

"No, dear." cooed mother.

Next day "Mommy! Mommy; today in history I said the first president was George Washington Bush... everybody laughed. Is that because I'm blond?"

"No, dear." caressed mother.

Next day "Mommy! Mommy; today in gym class we went swimming! I have the biggest boobies in the whole class! Is that because I'm blond?"

"No, dear. It's because you're 26!"
« Last Edit: February 04, 2008, 10:45:13 AM by obertray » Logged
MrUtley3
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« Reply #209 on: February 10, 2008, 08:37:33 PM »

If a chick got pregnant from having anal sex, would the child be a crack baby or an asshole?

I don't know. Ask your mom.
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"That guy over there played with Ty Cobb," said Phillies bench coach Jimy Williams, pointing to Chase Utley. "He's been here before."  quoted in the Boston Globe
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