Escape from Elba
Exiles of the New York Times
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Author Topic: Comedy  (Read 10478 times)
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Bartlebythescribbler
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« Reply #210 on: February 11, 2008, 11:38:17 AM »

Albert Camus and Andre Gide walk into a bar, each puzzling over the political nature of seemingly random personal choices made outside the context of an institutionally-mediated ethos....

That's as far as I've gotten.  Just trying to work up something to counterbalance Franklin's recent flurry of middle school toilet stall humor.

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Urethra_Franklin
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« Reply #211 on: February 11, 2008, 12:32:21 PM »

If a chick got pregnant from having anal sex, would the child be a crack baby or an asshole?

I don't know. Ask your mom.


uh huh huh  uh huh huh uh huh huh





A drunk walks up to a parking meter, puts a dime in and says, "Gee! I lost 100 pounds!"

You referring to your mama?


OWWWWWWWW!!


Sick burn
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MrUtley3
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« Reply #212 on: February 11, 2008, 03:37:18 PM »

Albert Camus and Andre Gide walk into a bar, each puzzling over the political nature of seemingly random personal choices made outside the context of an institutionally-mediated ethos....

That's as far as I've gotten.  Just trying to work up something to counterbalance Franklin's recent flurry of middle school toilet stall humor.



Don't be so hard on Ureter. He's still in middle school.
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madupont
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« Reply #213 on: February 12, 2008, 10:06:24 AM »

Albert Camus and Andre Gide walk into a bar, each puzzling over the political nature of seemingly random personal choices made outside the context of an institutionally-mediated ethos....

That's as far as I've gotten.  Just trying to work up something to counterbalance Franklin's recent flurry of middle school toilet stall humor.




Barton, I really like this one but would have to work on it awhile because anything that comes to mind would be deemed offensive in mixed company. Only two thoughts off the top of my head or maybe three. 

1)Which do they order vin rouge or vin blanc?

2)Which one of them causes all heads to turn and check him out?
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Bartlebythescribbler
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« Reply #214 on: February 12, 2008, 11:28:54 AM »

 Smiley

1)  For hanging out and chatting, I think they'd go for a vin rouge.  Unless one of them is a migraine sufferer, and then vin blanc for him.

2)  Camus would be more likely to turn heads, based on photos I've seen.

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madupont
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« Reply #215 on: February 13, 2008, 02:02:40 AM »

1)Vin rouge, because Camus would order; and. as he was both more Red while also a Pied Noir.

2) You are right, because Gide would have picked the bar which in that case was gay and all heads would turn to look at Camus.

They did not leave an address where they could be reached so it is not likely that anyone here caught up with them and barged in on their conversation.
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Bartlebythescribbler
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« Reply #216 on: February 13, 2008, 10:51:08 AM »

Your chat skills are analogous to a mechanic who can weave a Lamborgini out of steel wool and gum. 
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madupont
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« Reply #217 on: February 13, 2008, 12:22:47 PM »

Sure, since they could also chat about the Desert, and "street arabs". Albert would turn to Andre and ask,"okay, so what do you really feel about the indigene problem?" (since it would never occur to either of them to discuss "the Muslim situation"),then he would take another sip of wine. 

Andre would then reply,"It is really not even a question of aesthetic sensibilities." and heads would nod affirmatively among 50% of the eavesdroppers while the other  half of them would shrug their shoulders.

The proprietor, polishing glassware with a white flour-sack towel, now swears under his breath because he has just spotted Jacques Derrida passing by the open door.
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madupont
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« Reply #218 on: February 14, 2008, 06:10:50 PM »

weezo: thoughts of my relatives on the teaching profession from when they were in school until now.

SCHOOL  -- 1957 vs. 2007
 
Scenario:   Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers.   

Scenario:  Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.   

Scenario:  Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.   

Scenario:   Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse..  Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang.  State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.  Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.   

Scenario:   Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.   

Scenario:  Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher.  English banned from core curriculum.  Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.   

Scenario:   Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane pain t bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with   domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. 

Scenario:  Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary.   Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

I wish this could hit every e-mail
 

 

 






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Lhoffman
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« Reply #219 on: February 14, 2008, 06:53:03 PM »

Excellent post, and the sad truth is that this is not an exaggeration.  Our society seems to have lost its common sense.
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MrUtley3
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« Reply #220 on: February 18, 2008, 11:53:19 AM »

1957  A black man announces he wants to go to college with white students. He is beaten and lynched.

2007 A black man announces he is running for President. He might win.
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Urethra_Franklin
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« Reply #221 on: February 18, 2008, 11:58:24 AM »

1958 A little black boy named Michael Jackson is born in Indiana

2008 A frail white man named Michael Jackson is accused of pedophilia
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Bartlebythescribbler
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« Reply #222 on: February 19, 2008, 12:09:39 PM »

I too have some reservations about the rosy depiction of the 1950's vs. now.  And the 2007 scenarios are a bit exaggerated.   I am very glad not to be living in the 50s.
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madupont
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« Reply #223 on: February 19, 2008, 02:08:20 PM »



Barton: It really wasn't that bad, depending on who you were or how old you were at the time.  We've been discussing this relative to Einstein rather than the relativity theory in the American History forum  re:Oppenheimer's experience for instance. 

I was young and naive at the time, but I learned fast. I didn't view the 1950s as "rosy". When you are a young adult, things are seriously troubling and most often you bump into trouble more often.  It's your learning phase and you find out what to avoid for the next decade and so forth.

This morning's news assures me that the best word of advice is: Stay away from Hillary Clinton.  She's trouble.
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Kam
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« Reply #224 on: February 19, 2008, 03:46:43 PM »

All those who believe in telekinesis, please raise my hand.
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