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Exiles of the New York Times
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Author Topic: Comedy  (Read 10326 times)
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pugetopolis
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« Reply #270 on: March 04, 2008, 06:35:48 PM »



Future Voters Wait Patiently   (Watch Out World!!!!)
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“Other people's obsessions
are more often funny than tragic.”
—Vincent Canby, The New York Times
madupont
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« Reply #271 on: March 05, 2008, 03:25:25 AM »

Today is the only day of the year thats also a directive.

March forth my peoples!  Its March 4th.  The fourth of March, from whence we go forth.


Don't you think it would serve us better to heed the Ides of March?
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obertray
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« Reply #272 on: March 05, 2008, 10:31:18 AM »



"It runs in the family, dontchaknow..."

Spasticity runs in my family.... Fortunately not very well.

One of those jokes that I never really found a way to make work.
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Kam
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« Reply #273 on: March 05, 2008, 11:39:27 AM »

Today is the only day of the year thats also a directive.

March forth my peoples!  Its March 4th.  The fourth of March, from whence we go forth.


Don't you think it would serve us better to heed the Ides of March?

Who said anything about heed? 
Why should any of us worry about a day Ceasar was warned about?
And finally, why are you being serious on a Comedy thread?

Gingerballs!
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You know when, like, you're little, your dad, you think he's Superman. Then when you grow up and realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape.
-Dave Attell
pugetopolis
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« Reply #274 on: March 05, 2008, 02:35:32 PM »



Yes, indeed, sir!!!

I'll drink to that one!!!

Cheers!!!!
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“Other people's obsessions
are more often funny than tragic.”
—Vincent Canby, The New York Times
Kam
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« Reply #275 on: March 06, 2008, 01:30:57 AM »

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol and your child's name is Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go home."
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You know when, like, you're little, your dad, you think he's Superman. Then when you grow up and realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape.
-Dave Attell
pugetopolis
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« Reply #276 on: March 06, 2008, 05:05:26 AM »

A guy walks into the psychiatrist's and says "Doctor, doctor, you've got to
help me! I keep thinking that I'm a deck of cards!"

The shrink says "Sit over there and I'll deal with you later."
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“Other people's obsessions
are more often funny than tragic.”
—Vincent Canby, The New York Times
MrUtley3
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« Reply #277 on: March 06, 2008, 08:41:35 AM »

A guy walks into the psychiatrist's and says "Doctor, doctor, you've got to
help me! I keep thinking that I'm a deck of cards!"

The shrink says "Sit over there and I'll deal with you later."


"Doctor, no one seems to pay any attention to me, I'm so lonely."

"Next!"
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ponderosa
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« Reply #278 on: March 13, 2008, 12:20:36 AM »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6drXB57d8g
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ponderosa
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« Reply #279 on: March 13, 2008, 12:21:56 AM »

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obertray
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« Reply #280 on: March 14, 2008, 01:36:34 PM »

Tomorrow!

Beware!

Guiness is running ads to make St Paddy's a National Holiday. I disagree, if they want to do something good they ought to make the day AFTER St. Paddy's a day off!

Do YOU want to buy a car that was made on March 18th? "That's not new car smell! Sombody threw up inside the doorpanel of this Gremlin!"

Same goes for the Seis de Mayo!
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MrUtley3
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« Reply #281 on: March 14, 2008, 03:48:33 PM »

The ethnic jokes are lame.
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Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
ponderosa
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« Reply #282 on: March 15, 2008, 11:17:20 AM »

Appears that the British military is preparing for peak oil?



edit to provide access to a better view... http://www.doingitwrong.com/wrong/2955_00031278.jpg
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ponderosa
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« Reply #283 on: March 17, 2008, 03:12:04 AM »

Happy Saint Patrick's Day... and other stuff.

http://www.unclejayexplains.com/

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MrUtley3
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« Reply #284 on: March 17, 2008, 10:03:59 AM »

Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances.

Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!
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Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
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