Escape from Elba
Exiles of the New York Times
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1861  Arts / Movies / Re: Movies on: June 17, 2007, 01:18:11 PM
"After some light calisthenics, I tore open the Netflix envelope...."

Yeah, what is up with that little sticky circle they fold over the two sides of the Netflix envelope, which makes opening at least three times more labor than it would be otherwise?  I usually do a little qiqong or tai chai, get the arms and delts and latissimus dorsi loosened a bit, and then go hunt for the letter opener (or if that's MIA, a paring knife) and slit that sucker open.  You can't just tear the thing open without doing damage to your return portion of the envelope, unless you have a master's degree in origami or maybe fly-tying.

I'll check out Harsh Times, but no promises.

1862  Books / Creative Writing / Re: Creative Writing on: June 16, 2007, 05:23:06 PM
"Quando omnia vincit," said Gordon, still a bit dewy from being decanted, "moritati."

"Quando omnia vincit," replied Pug, "masturbati."

"Nolo te bastardes carborundum," said the handmaid, sweeping up more fallen tile.

"Cogito ergo cum!" cried the still-tumescent elephant, who had approached from his vantage point on the horizon and was now reaching a happy ending as he pawed the latest issue of "Ivory."

Gordon opened his umbrella and...
1863  Arts / Movies / Re: Movies on: June 15, 2007, 01:42:27 PM
I find that oddly amusing and comically whimsical.

1864  Books / Myth and Ancient Literature / Re: Myth and Literature on: June 15, 2007, 01:37:40 PM
Just occurred to me this forum could be called,

Menander Where You May

1865  Books / Creative Writing / Re: Creative Writing on: June 15, 2007, 01:26:33 PM
But it would have been worse to be an elephant with a massive

digression that nearly obliterated both the sun and any kind of narrative thread in which one might follow the doings of the central characters.  Everyone began to long for another global catastrophe, this time one that included the nutria in its massive extinctions.

What, one wondered, had become of the newly-decanted Gordon that Dr. Zayus had so lovingly crafted from nothing but a strand of DNA and a few hunks of

1866  Arts / Movies / Re: Movies on: June 15, 2007, 01:19:09 PM
Jbot, as one of the silicon overlords, I am not flattered by your imputation that I might be "beautifully human." 
1867  Books / Creative Writing / Re: Creative Writing on: June 15, 2007, 11:00:51 AM
As his prehensile tongue traveled farther and farther south, Dr. Zayus eyes grew more and more distant, and it seemed his train of thought would be lost.  But then...
1868  Arts / Movies / Re: Movies on: June 15, 2007, 10:57:47 AM

Regarding -- "It's just the old "it's a study of the human condition" type thing, with a female protagonist about whom there's nothing really extraordinary, who's just trying to live and go to work and be happy."  Once in a while, that grabs me, but I'm going to WFV on this one.  It does figure that in a film about someone losing their dog, the whole dog theme will be tangential, unless it's a Disney film.

Realistic child dialog, however, that does have me drooling.  Speaking metaphorically.

Having had two children, I can heartily agree about their penchant for spouting nonsense at that age, stuff like "Emma puts the tails in the blank spot.  Under the roof!  Look!  It's blank and it's not green!  DAAADD!"

I don't know if one can really capture it, without writing it down verbatim as you suggest.

1869  Books / Creative Writing / Re: Creative Writing on: June 15, 2007, 10:46:12 AM
"Simple," said Dr. Zayus, "the traits that make some dreadful also happen to be highly adaptive and help the species survive.  If you remove all that is obnoxious and repellent from the genome, you will have a species that is too good and gentle for this world."
1870  Arts / Movies / Re: Movies on: June 15, 2007, 10:23:06 AM
LKoS ---yeah, the opening part with Gillian Anderson and the country clinic seemed to detach from the rest of the film -- it was like they tossed in that bus window shot of her later in the film as a kind of plot bandaid.  But, generally, I found it fairly compelling and the acting uniformly high quality.
1871  Books / Creative Writing / Re: Creative Writing on: June 15, 2007, 10:15:46 AM
And then the earth underwent a catastrophe which killed everyone, except for a few hardy nutria, members of a highly adaptable (and tasty!) species who quickly recovered and evolved in intelligence and developed handtools and fire and the smelting of metals.  In short order, civilization blossomed and the Nutriatute for Advanced Study appointed Dr. Bart Zayus as its director; in this sinecure, he immediately implemented a plan to develop genetic engineering to a degree that would allow the recovery of DNA of the now-extinct human race and clone copies of the humans formerly known as Gordon, Chlotilde, Harold, Cletus, Puglover, et al.

When the project was completed, a barbecue was held in honor of the restored humans.  After the keg had been tapped and the beer had begun to flow, the humans broke out in a chorus of "Dr. Zayus, Dr. Zayus!" and the now ancient scholar brushed an oily tear from his eye and beamed at his strange and nearly hairless creations.

1872  Arts / Movies / Re: Movies on: June 15, 2007, 10:04:03 AM
Saw The Last King of Scotland and was wowed, disturbed, etc.  James McEvoy seemed very Dustin Hoffman-esque.  Now deciding whether or not to do the full tour of the Rule of Two and see Hotel Rwanda.

Passed on Year of the Dog.  Read Manola Dhargis review and, not that a review would impede me, but her synopsis alerted me to the dog-dies plot and the whole barrel o' puppies/animal rights/vegan drollery.  I can't take any more.

1873  Books / Creative Writing / Re: Creative Writing on: June 14, 2007, 12:18:39 PM
a Basenji
1874  Books / Creative Writing / Re: Creative Writing on: June 14, 2007, 10:44:15 AM
"Nix on the personal health chatter," cried the iguana from his terrarium, where he had been plinking tepidly on his miniature banjo and trying to figure out the chords for "Dust in the Wind."  He stared hard at the horizon, hoping the ship bore rescuers from PETA.  He had sent out distress messages from the cafe by various means, including a note folded in Chlo's...
1875  Books / Creative Writing / Re: Creative Writing on: June 14, 2007, 10:18:42 AM
her pores with paraffin.

A shot was fired in the night.  A ship appeared on the horizon.  It was time...
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