Escape from Elba

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Pages: 1 2 [3]

Author Topic: Comedy  (Read 8254 times)

barton

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4699
    • View Profile
Re: Comedy
« Reply #30 on: June 12, 2020, 12:46:43 PM »

A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asked a girl "Do you mind if I sit beside you?" The girl replied in a loud voice: " NO I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"

The guy then responded in a loud voice: "$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? ... THAT'S TOO MUCH!"

All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.

The guy whispered to her: "I study law, and I know how to screw people".
Logged
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes. "

barton

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4699
    • View Profile
Logged
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes. "

barton

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4699
    • View Profile
Re: Comedy
« Reply #32 on: August 10, 2020, 05:59:50 PM »

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"

The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging."

"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"

"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.

"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.

"Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."

"Weird guy," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"

"Rustling," said the bartender.
Logged
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes. "

UNO

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3183
  • You're bored without me. As you should be.
    • View Profile
Re: Comedy
« Reply #33 on: October 10, 2020, 12:01:40 PM »

Redstateward walked into a bar in Dublin, Ohio, sat down and started drinking beer.

He would finish his beer, pull out his wallet and look at a picture of his wife, order another beer, take out his wallet and looks at a picture of his wife.

He repeated this several times until finally the bartender asked him, "Why is that after you finish a beer you take out your wallet and look at a picture of your wife?"

And Red said,  "As soon as she starts looking better to me, I'm going home."
Logged
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

Mark Twain

barton

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4699
    • View Profile
Re: Comedy
« Reply #34 on: January 11, 2021, 07:03:09 PM »



Small language barrier,  or perhaps... mound.
Logged
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes. "

Kam

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3562
  • '77er
    • View Profile
Re: Comedy
« Reply #35 on: January 15, 2021, 10:34:05 PM »

Logged
The steal can't be stopped!

barton

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4699
    • View Profile
Re: Comedy
« Reply #36 on: January 18, 2021, 02:19:05 PM »

Hehe!
Logged
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes. "

barton

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4699
    • View Profile
Re: Comedy
« Reply #37 on: January 28, 2021, 07:09:39 PM »

A man enters a sexy lingerie store to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500 & takes it home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him

Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy): "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself."

She appears naked and strikes a pose.

The husband says, "Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!"
Logged
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes. "
Pages: 1 2 [3]