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Author Topic: Comedy  (Read 4434 times)

oilcan

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barton

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Re: Comedy
« Reply #16 on: October 31, 2018, 01:57:54 PM »

Doctor doctor! I broke my arm in three places. What should I do?

Stay out of those places!
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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes. "

Kam

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Rodney Dangerfield
« Reply #17 on: November 02, 2018, 11:50:27 AM »

I tell ya since i'm a kid women always gave me a hard time. My mother never breast fed me. She told me she liked me as a friend.  Are you kiddin? My mother had morning sickness AFTER i was born.
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KP tosses salads in dallas

barton

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Re: Comedy
« Reply #18 on: November 02, 2018, 07:24:39 PM »

Hello,  you've reached the Incontinence Hotline.   Can you hold,  please?
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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes. "

oilcan

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Re: Comedy
« Reply #19 on: November 13, 2018, 01:06:36 PM »

Sent to me from friend in Bristol UK....
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bankshot1

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Re: Comedy
« Reply #20 on: January 03, 2019, 12:52:29 PM »

RIP

Bob "Super Dave" Einstein

you were a head of your time

condolences Albert
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oilcan

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Re: Comedy
« Reply #21 on: January 19, 2019, 11:59:00 AM »

A couple went to a therapist’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I help you with”
The man said, “Will you watch us have sex?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have sex,” and charged them $50.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

Finally, the doctor asked, “Just exactly what are you trying to find out?”

“We’re not trying to find out anything,” the husband replied.  "She’s married and we can’t go to her house. I’m married and we can’t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50…and I get $43 back from Medicare."
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FlyingVProd

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Re: Comedy
« Reply #22 on: February 23, 2019, 12:05:52 AM »

Pun enters a room and kills ten people.

Pun in, ten dead.

--

Salute,

Tony V.
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Anniebarlett

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Re: Comedy
« Reply #23 on: February 25, 2019, 11:28:57 PM »

Hey, great thread. A way of spreading happiness.
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oilcan

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Re: Comedy
« Reply #24 on: May 06, 2019, 07:56:18 PM »

Why did Annie Barlett cross the road?

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oilcan

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Re: Comedy
« Reply #25 on: June 22, 2019, 08:09:16 PM »

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.

When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in all the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she endured.

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"

“Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesday …………..but I fish on Fridays."
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barton

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Re: Comedy
« Reply #26 on: June 26, 2019, 12:15:46 AM »

https://youtu.be/qyAnRxnBRLI

Tinsel is mirrors for snakes...
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"History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes. "

oilcan

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Re: Comedy
« Reply #27 on: June 28, 2019, 09:47:57 PM »

Kim Jong-un doesn't understand we already have an unstable peninsula that will take down America ----

---Florida.

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Itz ME!

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Re: Comedy
« Reply #28 on: October 19, 2019, 09:59:34 AM »

Trumpelstilskin: This guy has the Midas touch in reverse. Whenever he touches gold, it turns into straw!
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oilcan

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