Very early, because I might not have the chance to post before Thursday otherwise.
Michigan State 17, Illinois 3
We had better beat Illinois. I mean we fucking sure as hell better beat Illinois. Do NOT get caught looking forward to Methchicken you bastards. Time for Raequon Williams, Kenny Willekes, Joe Bachie, Josiah Scott et al to live up to the preseason hype. Offensively… yeeesh. I do not know that we are fixable within the context of the year. But we have made it through the rough patch; there is not a game left on the schedule that strikes me as unwinnable. Granted, we have lost three games I thought were winnable, and two very, very badly.
THE 49, Maryland 3
THE is moving like a tremendous machine, at this point, and it is hard to see a team like Maryland posing a threat. Or anyone, at least until those last two games. At some level, I wonder about the type of let down that killed THE’s season the last two years, especially leading up to the hype of two top 5 teams meeting on 11/23. But the two teams leading up to that are Maryland and Rutgers, so no worries.
the Pennsylvania State University 35, Minnesota 10
Nice story for the Aureate Rodents, but there is a real chance they have won their last game – well, Northwestern is not scaring anyone. None of the Power 5 schools Mini has played have a winning record – Illinois is 4 – 4. The best team they have played so far may well be the Jackalopes. Mini is in the “Bowl Eligible” scheduling mode, not the Championship contending schedule mode. Say… P J Fleck to Florida State? He seems to get a lot out of his players, though I think there is at least one better option. Which is not Lane Kiffin, although he apparently wants the job. Maybe USC.*
* I mean Fleck. Calm down, trojanhorse.
the Louisiana State University 27, Alabama 24
I get that THE and PSU have not played the most exacting schedule, but have you seen Alabama’s schedule? Saturday will be the first time they have taken the field against a ranked opponent. While ‘Bama’s schedule is backloaded, LSU has played tough against a good, tough schedule. Which is to say, I have a pretty good idea what LSU is, less so with Alabama. I am Burrowing in with LSU as the God’s Conference champion this year. So, you know what that means: Congratulations Alabama!
Note: I typed this before I read that the Divinity had intervened. To paraphrase Richard Mulligan in Little Big Man, your puny fact is not worth the reversal of a Hairy Lime decision.
ClemSIN 52, North Carolina State 10
Of course, ClemSIN really has not played anyone either. I mean… Wooford? In something other than an early season practice game? They cannot control the down year for their conference, but… Wooford? What, St. Mary’s Orphanage was booked? Anyway, I still expect ClemSIN to win it all in the end despite the absence of a real in season challenge.
Texas Christian University 35, Baylor 32
Methodists versus the Disciples of Christ? I like what Baylor has done under possible future Seminole HC Rhule, and the decision to not schedule a power 5 team OOC – it has been a long standing problem with Baylor in the playoff era – has served the recovering program well. I am not sure this is a real trap game – Baylor should not be in the position of looking ahead to anyone – but they do have OU coming up on the 16th. This is the week the last of the chaff separates from the wheat.
Georgia 31, Missouri 13
This is a possible trap game, sandwiched in between Florida and Auburn, but Georgia has already taken that shot to the gut, and… Missouri has lost to Kentucky, Vanderbilt, and Wyfuckingyoming. I have been to Wyfuckingyoming. Yellowstone and Teton are beyond gorgeous, but you can have the rest of the entire fucking state. The drive out of it was one of the most horrifically dull drives I have ever taken, and I have driven I 10 from Van Horn Texas to San Antonio (or vice versa) FOUR TIMES. I seem to have gotten off on a tangent. Missouri is not very good. Georgia is. Enough said.
Oklahoma 42, the Iowa State University 31
I think the playoffs will be, the God’s Conference Champion, the THE/the Pennsylvania State winner, ClemSIN and either Oregon/Utah or Oklahoma, though any loss by the last two teams knocks them out. I think Oklahoma understands that and understands that the ISU is good enough to wreck their season.
Wisconsin 20, Iowa 10
Two things about Iowa: 1. Teams have a hard time scoring on them. 2. They have a hard time scoring on anyone who is any good. Wisky was kicked in the teeth by THE, and stunned by Illinois, but they are still – outside of addle pated haters - a good defense, with a good, if conservative and ground based, offense. Since I expect both to beat the Aureate Rodents, the winner of this game is the losing half of the Big Whatever championship game.
University of California* 31, the Arizona State University 21
I believe I have taken care of the unbeatens, the not lost yets and the reasonable shot at the playoffses. This will be a homecoming for Slovis, and I expect him to continue his growth. Nights here are incredibly cold** – down into the 50’s – but he should be used to it. Clay Helton is playing out the string; 8 – 4 and a trip to the Holiday Bowl is one thing if you are, say, Minnesota. Quite another if you are USC, but that is where they look to be headed.
* Southern
** Clearly, a relative term.
Duke 27, Our Lady of the Perpetual Tie 21
I do not think OLotPT has much of an offense. Not that Duke has beaten any of the decent teams they have played, but I really want OLofPT to lose their way into a humiliatingly bad Bowl Game. Like the ones we are competing for. I see no reason to stand being lectured on my grudges by someone who has repeated the “I got rolled by a guy wearing an OSU sweatshirt” excuse for his disheveled appearance in a New Jersey Turnpike restroom so often he has actually come to believe it.
Cincinnati 42, Connecticut 10
I assume we have already metaphorically circled November 30 on our calendars – and did so as soon as the calendars were printed - but circle the 29th also. Cincinnati v. Memphis should be for the Gang of Five rep to the New Years Six. Certainly, UConn should not stand in the way.
WtFU 42, VTU 17
Well, Woke may be the last speed bump on the ClemSIN coronation path. VT is actually pretty alarming for my wife, a cardiothoracic nurse. More so then they are on the field these days.
the Boise State University 31, Wyfuckingoming 10
I believe I have made my feelings about the State of Wyfuckingoming known. BSU needs to keep itself in position to spoil the Cinci/Memphis dichotomy – two cities I have never liked though for Memphis that has more to do with the worst La Quinta I have ever stayed in and the huge stinking wet gray dog shit in front of the elevator that was still there (and had been stepped in) 45 minutes after I reported it to the front desk - especially if the winner gacks in the AAC championship game. I seem to have gotten off on a tangent again
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