You have an obsession
Get help
My parents tried to nip my math obsession in the bud long long ago, Kid. It didn't work.
They also
fed my interest in current events and politics.
And yours failed to get you to be able to get past your own biases to examine uncomfortable truths, while also not managing to get you to be able stop gloating at what you thought was a game, but was other people's lives.