Maria, I've just met a spy named Maria.
And suddenly I find a great way to unwind
is blasting away with an AR-15
in a South Dakota duck blind!
Maria, I want to be your handler, Maria.
We'll hang out with the NRA
and you'll prove that I'm not gay
And we will drink vodka martinis all day!
Maria, I just fired my Glock with Maria.
And soon we can meet the POTUS
And deliver that check that Vlad wrote us
And then drive around in a Lotus!
Maria...you look cute in handcuffs, Maria!